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Big People Words

 

A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the

first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on

NO baby talk!

 

"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.

 

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my

Nana."

 

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use Big People' words!"

 

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo choo."

 

She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use "Big

People' words."

 

She then asked little Zach what he had done.

 

I read a book," he replied.

 

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

 

 

Zach thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great

pride, and said, "Winnie the .."

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WEDDING NIGHT

Honeymoon at Home

Fred and Mary got married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go

back

to Fred's Mom and Dad's for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his

breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks

his

mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No".

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to

school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up

yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go

back

to school." ;

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up

yet?"

His mom says, "No."

He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "Ok, now tell me what you think?"

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I

think

I gave him my airplane glue."

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show comes on adult swim which is cartoon networks night time line-up. they have some of the funniest things on there...a dance off between voltron and an enemy..voltron gets served and gets pissed..slices the enemy in half "whose left now biatch? huh?! HUH?!"

 

robot chicken rulez..

 

 

just noticed...the episode i jus described is #9 on that list lol.

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So there were these two kids talking about whos parents were better.

 

The first kid says, "My dad is better then yours, he can kick your dads butt"

 

The second kid replies with "No he couldnt, my dad can lift a truck!"

 

The first kid says "Well my dad can lift our house!"

 

The second kid no dumbfounded say "Yeah...well...My mom is better then your mom!"

 

The first kid smiles and says "Yeah, my dad says that too"

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  • 2 weeks later...

Two Jewish men, Sid and Al were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid

asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised

in Mexico?"

Al replied, "I don't know. Let's ask our waiter." When the waiter came

by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"

The waiter said, "I don't know, Senor, I'll go ask the cook." He

returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said, "No, sir, no

Mexican Jews."

Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you absolutely

sure?"

The waiter, realizing he was dealing with "Gringos," gave the expected

answer. "I will check again Senor," and went back to the kitchen.

While the waiter was away, Sid said, "I find it hard to believe that

there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere."

The waiter returned and said, "Senor, the head cook says, No Mexican

Jews!"

"Are you certain?", Al asked once again, "I can't believe there are

no Mexican Jews!"

"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replied the exasperated waiter, "We have Orange

Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews but no one ever hear of

Mexican Jews!"

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