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cpuz

good JOKE for ya...

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She was Soooooooo Blonde . . .

 

 

1. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."

 

2. She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."

 

3. When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

 

4. She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.

 

5. She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."

 

6. She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

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A bear and a rabbit are in the woods takeing a dump. The bear looks at the rabbit and says "Hey rabbit,you have trouble with _hit sticking to your fur"? The rabbit looks up and says " No,I don't". Shortly after the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit.

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one day this man was sitting in his chair his wife walked up hit him on the head. he said what was that for? she said i found this womans name in your pants. he said i was at the horse track that was name of horse i was betting on. she said ok figure you would have a good reason. few days later wife walks in hits him on the head he says what was that for she said your horse just called.

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Thanks cpuz, I seriously needed a good laugh after my Wal-Mart experience this morning. I was very angry, almost as angry as Angry can get.

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The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this

see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother pitched a fit

telling her not to dare go out like that!

 

The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You

gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she goes.

 

The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is

sitting there with no top on. The teenage wants to die. She explains

to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is

just not appropriate....

 

The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your

rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

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A set of Jumper Cables walks in to a bar and orders a beer.

 

The bartender says "ok, I'll serve you - just don't start anything"

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Guest culinist

A guy is walking through the park when he sees an old man sitting on a bench crying his eyes out.

 

He walks up to him and says " Hey old timer whats wrong?"

 

The old guy says, " i just married an 21 year old woman, and all she wants to do is have ., ., .. All day lon,g all she wants is ."

 

The young guy replies, " Well what's wrong with that, sounds like a great situation to be in."

 

To that the old man says between sobs.."I forgot where I live."

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A 60 year old married man is granted one wish from a genie. The man wishes he was with a woman 30 years younger than himself. The next day when he woke up he was now 90 years old. Bad genie!

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A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.

 

The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

 

Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

 

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

 

Is it........

 

A-Robin

 

B-Sparrow

 

C-Cuckoo

 

D-Thrush

 

Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."

 

"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...

 

No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.

 

Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

 

Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."

 

(ringing)

 

Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."

 

Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.

 

The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.

 

There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."

 

Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

 

A-Robin

 

B-Sparrow

 

C-Cuckoo

 

D-Thrush"

 

Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."

 

Barbara: "You think?"

 

Maggie: "I'm sure."

 

Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

 

Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

 

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

 

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

 

Barbara: "It is."

 

Regis: "Are you confident?"

 

Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."

 

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

 

Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

 

(clapping)

 

That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?

 

Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."

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*A penguin had trouble with his car so he dropped it off at the shop for repair. He had about an hours wait so he decided to take a walk. While out walking he came across an ice cream store. He decided to get some vanilla ice cream. While he was on his way back to the garage the little guy dropped some ice cream on his beak and chin. When he entered the garage the mechanic approached the penguin and said he had found the problem.

"It looks like you blew a seal" the mechanic said. The penguin replied "No,it's just a little ice cream".

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Guest culinist
A penguin had trouble with his car so he dropped it off at the shop for repair. He had about an hours wait so he decided to take a walk. While out walking he came across an ice cream store. He decided to get some vanilla ice cream. While he was on his way back to the garage the little guy dropped some ice cream on his beak and chin. When he entered the garage the mechanic approached the penguin and said he had found the problem.

"It looks like you blew a seal" the mechanic said. The penguin replied "No,it's just a little ice cream".

 

:shake: :shake:

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