Have you been divorced?

[InCrYsIs]

So, this is more than just a yes or no thing really. I am curious about those who have been divorced, how long did it take to get over it? It has been a little over 2 years and I'm still pissed. Obviously peoples reasons for getting divorced vary.

 

We had a bunch of issues but none were unfixable until she cheated. Share thoughts.

Edited January 9, 2012 by InCrYsIs

[Onion]

Sadly, yes. Not really, never been married.

[Phil]

Yes, I'm not sure you ever really get over it.

[Black64]

Never been married, but I have been thou break ups, so I am sure divorce is much worse.

[SpikeSoprano]

Do you count a common law relationship of 10 years as a marriage ?

[GameRonin]

I'm going through a divorce right now, but it's entirely amicable. We have been together for 13 years, 10 of them married. We bought a house and had a couple of kids, and only now have we realized that we are terrible together as a couple. We're great as friends (sometimes with benefits, heh) but we just don't have the same goals in life AT ALL. We started realizing several years ago that we don't see eye to eye on much of anything. When you're with someone, you don't want them to like everything you do, but it's nice to say "I really like x" and not hear, "ugh, I can't stand that" everytime. So, we just decided it would be in the best interest of us and our kids to divorce. This way we can still be close friends and raise our kids but go down the paths we want for ourselves without holding the other back.

 

The downside, of course, is that now I have to start all over. As Louis CK put it, "I don't know how to be single anymore". I'm 37 now, and while I don't feel old, I definitely feel disconnected from the single life. Obviously, I can get used to it, but honestly I really enjoyed having someone to come home to every night. I'm not an incredibly social person anymore, mostly because being married left my friends at the wayside. I definitely look forward to the prospect of maybe meeting a more compatible mate, but I have no intention of ever getting married again. Seems like a waste of time given there's really no reason to do it. A couple can stay together for their entire lives and not wear a ring; it changes nothing.

[Savan]

voted no. Im not married so I cant be devorced

[NikoDG]

Voted no. Im not married so I cant be devorced

Ditto!

[road-runner]

Never married, watched to many divorces growing up.. Told myself I am not going through that...

[cjloki]

Yes, I'm not sure you ever really get over it.

huh ? i did,...on wife #3, long term relationship #4....they come n they go, but i'm pretty sure this one is a keeper !!,...i do like my bloody sheila ALOT !!

[t0asty]

Never been married but going through a tough breakup right now. I got a job a few months ago 8 hours away from home where we lived together for a while and it was perfect over all the holidays and our anniversary. We were meeting up every 2 weeks or so and made up for lost time... She was planning on moving here in Feb 1st. Then just after I got an advance on my vacation that hadn't kicked in yet and bought plane tickets to fly out before Christmas, I get a text while I am at work saying this isn't going to work out and she needs a break. She had already moved most of her stuff here, had already told her work she was moving and everything. Now she just sent me another text asking when she can come pick up her stuff when I haven't talked to her in 2 weeks. It blows my mind after a year of no fighting and just amazing times, she can flip a switch and want nothing to do with me... I now know, she is talking to some douche bag that just got out of a 11 year relationship and attempted to commit suicide 2 months ago, so clearly I was can't provide that stability I think it's the randomness and the lack of formal closure that is killing me so much. I got out of a 4 year long relationship just before her and never felt this depressed about it.

 

+1 with GameRonin... it's like you don't remember how to be single again. I think now, after a couple weeks of this all happening, I am slowly getting better and realizing that it's that security of having someone that I am actually missing more than it being just her. I miss having someone to come home to every night, and especially miss the two dogs we had together. I guess I still got plenty of time, new job, new city and have new friends which I really like. Only time will tell. I am just glad we didn't get married like we were talking about doing, or had kids together, because I think I would be a total wreck.

[dihartnell]

Yes Im divorced and yes it sucked and yes I't took 6 years for me to be less pissed about it but only just now have I been able to completely get past it. After ten years I have paid back all the marital debt, have a reasonable child support and access arrangement in place and now can afford to buy a home again. (that was the last thing still annoying me, having to rent instead of owning a home).

 

I've moved on, she has moved on, our older kids have moved on (literally they couldn't stand either of us) and our younger kids seem ok with it now. My advice is find a way to make it amicable as possible. I spent 4 years in court and spent a small fortune, just to prove Im right. It wasn't worth it.