red930 Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Just an urban legend... http://www.snopes.com/racial/mistaken/hitfloor.asp ...nothing to see here, move along! Black Robbers For anyone who didn't see David Letterman's take on this: (This is a true story) On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall....very tall...an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind but Gosh, they had to know what she was thinking!!! Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. a second went by, then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." she automatically did what she was told. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely,"Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button." The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing. The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was too humiliated to speak.. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. But what would she say to these two respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob her? She didn't know what to say. The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband. The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years." It was signed: Eddie Murphy Michael Jordan Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Septem Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Just an urban legend...http://www.snopes.com/racial/mistaken/hitfloor.asp ...nothing to see here, move along! So remove the (true story) It's still funny. :nod: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kccustom Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Just an urban legend...http://www.snopes.com/racial/mistaken/hitfloor.asp ...nothing to see here, move along! I hate to tell you that this is true, my cousin was there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
red930 Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I hate to tell you that this is true, my cousin was there. And the weiner is kccustom for the only right answer! LOL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Septem Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Man A says something to man B about going to the mattresses. Man B prepares for war and man A goes to bed. Which is obsessed with the Godfather? Answer: the man who wrote this nonsensical joke. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
red930 Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said: "He mated 50 times last year." They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said: "This bull mated 120 times last year. " The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said: "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him." They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said: "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one." The husband looked at her and said: "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
smolt Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Subject: Police Officer Testifies in Court. you'll love this Policeman testifies in court.................... If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility.... Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?" A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away." Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?" A: "The officer who responded to the scene." Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?" A: "Yes, sir. With my life." Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?" A: "Yes sir, we do!" Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?" A: "Yes sir, I do." Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?" A: "Yes sir." Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?" A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room." The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReelFiles Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 hehe. good one msmolt. What's your name stand for? Is it dutch? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
smolt Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 F$$ck if i know lol Im not dutch and cant even speak it lol smolts a nick name giving to me for fishing to much Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReelFiles Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 LOL, I keep forgetting that avatars are picked by admins, so that's how I picture you, hehe I can't even picture what AceGoober really looks like. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
smolt Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 LOL, I keep forgetting that avatars are picked by admins, so that's how I picture you, heheI can't even picture what AceGoober really looks like. But i am stuck in holland right now.so it fits i guess. its the nabor thats confused :nod: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cronocrash Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Two men are standing next to eachother at a horse race. One man becomes infuriated when his horse loses the race and begins shouting about the horse's owner not knowing how to care for a horse. The man next to him says "I own that horse. What do you think the problem with the horse is?" The first man states "The horse leans too far to the left." The horse's owner replies "Well since you know so much about horses how would you fix it?" The infuriated man says "I would put a lead weight in it's right ear." The owner says mockingly "And how would you go about putting a weight in a horses ear?" The first man states "With a .45." lol. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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