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cpuz

good JOKE for ya...

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Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in

search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks

in and catches his folks in The Act.

 

Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsie ride!

Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking

more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his

stride, agrees.

 

Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts

moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, daddy! This is the part

where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

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A young man at the tender age of 14 comes home from school.

 

His Mom asks, "anything interesting happen in school today?". The young man answers his Mom, "I had . with a teacher."

 

Mom loses her mind and tells the young man, "how could you do this to us, haven't we raised you right?" On the edge of despair she tells him, "you get to your room and wait until your Father gets home."

 

As the two hour wait for the Father to get home lingers, Mom sits stewing in the kitchen wondering what kind of teacher would have . with a teenage boy.

 

Mom meets Dad at the back door proclaiming, "your son had . with a teacher at school."

 

The first thing that goes through Dad's mind is, "that's my boy", but being married to Mom for all those years has taught him to think first then speak.

 

Mom says matter of factly, "you need to go talk to that boy." Dad agrees and makes his way upstairs marvelling at the good fortune his son has encountered.

 

As Dad opens the door to his son's room he says loudly, "Son, some things are just wrong" making sure Mom could hear him.

 

Just after the door clicks closed, he approaches his son with a huge hug and a high-five.

 

Father and son sit on the edge of the bed not knowing which would speak first. Finally Dad says, "Son.....I'm proud of you. Today you became a man! Now to celebrate how about we go down to the store and get you that BMX bike you've been wanting?"

 

"Gee, dad, that's great," he replies, "but can we wait a few days? My butt is still kind of sore."

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I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

 

xl

Run-down house in West Virginia: $35,000

 

11 satellite dishes for said house: under $1,000.00USD

 

5,000 freakin’ channels and nothing on: speechless

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Guest Blooz1

Oh man - the redneck version of "fabulous excess"!

 

ExRoadie, that's priceless!

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A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!"

Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.

 

"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says.

 

"Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."

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Life is so difficult at times...

 

Yesterday I got Preparation H mixed-up with Poly-Grip.

 

Now I talk like an a-hole but my gums don't itch.

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