good JOKE for ya...

[ReelFiles]

Wahahahahahaha!

[TheFlowerKing]

Not sure if this has been put up yet but it gets me everytime :

 

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

[CPDMF]

Lmao

[CPDMF]

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.

They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.

 

They searched for days and couldn't find her. So the captain sent the old man home with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.

 

Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the ship.

It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife had died in the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and found an oyster attached to her butt. Inside it was a pearl worth $50,000.

Please advise?"

 

The old man faxed back: Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!

[red930]

Little Billy came home from school to

see the families pet rooster dead in the

front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and

it was flat on its back with its legs in

the air. When his Dad came home Billy

said, "Dad our roosters dead and his

legs are sticking in the air. Why are

his legs sticking in the air?"

 

His father thinking quickly said, "Son,

that's so God can reach down from the

clouds and lift the rooster straight up

to heaven."

 

"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy.

A few days later, when Dad came home from

work, Billy rushed out to meet him

yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom

today!"

 

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

 

"Well Dad, I got home from school early

today and went up to your bedroom and

there was Mom flat on her back with her

legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm

coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been

for Uncle George holding her down we'd

have lost her for sure!"

[CPDMF]

That one is classic.

 

I have a bunch more in a folder. I will have to go through them and check for content though.

[TheFlowerKing]

Lol @ dead rooster

[CPDMF]

A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.

 

Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."

 

Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."

 

Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"

 

Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."

 

The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.

 

Mom : "Now what do I do?"

 

Son : "Get your butt out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some ******* ice cream."

[ReelFiles]

WAHAHAHAHAAAA,

 

I did not forsee that ending

[P.T.K.]

LMAO Good one that was great

[CPDMF]

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

[ReelFiles]

Let's go to Country Kitchen ... LOL