What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard?

[Thraxz]

Dumbest thing... okay, I'm sitting at an entrance station to Lake Mead outside of Las Vegas charging the fees to get in the park and onto the lake. SO... he comes these knobs in a rental Chevy Cobalt and roll down the window looking stupid. I could already tell I was in for a treat (at this point in time you can tell retards by looking at them) .

 

He immediately blurts out, "How far have we come?" Then he looks at me expectantly as I start trying REALLY REALLY hard not to laugh.

 

"Sir...-snicker-... I have no idea where you came from...-snicker..."

 

"Uh, back there, -points down the road he came from."

 

I stop laughing at this point because this guy is a total moron... a really big moron who shouldn't be allowed to breed.

 

"Sir, where did you come from specifically because you've come about 500 miles from Sacramento and about 2000 miles from New York."

 

"Oh... uh, whatever town it was back there."

 

"Las Vegas?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"About 20 miles from The Strip."

 

"Oh, we're lost, we're trying to get to Lake Mead."

 

I'm totally miffed... he just drove past three signs that all said LAKE ******* MEAD on them.

 

"Sir, it's $5... keep going straight until you see the Lake in a few miles."

[Guest Pyro]

American Idol please kill me...... please ill give you a dollar or something :eek2:

[Spring2188]

I got a kick out of this... http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/10/dell-support-call.html

[ReelFiles]

That dude was funny as hell, somebody should get him a job as a stand-up comedian.

[Coors]

Well recently...yesterday actually, one of my coworkers received an email from somebody saying that something was wrong with their computer because she couldn't send email.....at first we thought it was a joke (which I think I even remember reading a joke about the exact same thing...I think it was one of those Readers Digest things that people send in) but anyways than we started laughing and tried to think of the best clever jack@ss remark to reply back with. But we decided to keep it professional and simply replied back "But if you sent us this email and if you can read this email...isn't it working? And after that she didn't even bother to reply back...she must of been too embarressed...but just to make sure her problem wasn't sporadic and she really couldn't reply back I called her and she just hung up on me. So then we had some more laughs. I'm hoping I bump into her sometime so I can ask her how well her email is working lol.

[sswilson]

I had Canada plates on my car while posted to Germany.

 

Some dude in Belgum asked me how long the ferry ride was........

[radodrill]

I used to work at Wal-Farts...not all of us are retarded we just don't get paid enough to care I used to tell people to buy utter crap and pitch them some line about how great it was and they'd buy it without question...now that was power :tooth:

 

True, not all Wal-mart electronics employees are idiots; but the majority are.

[General Septem]

True, not all Wal-mart electronics employees are idiots; but the majority are.

 

I learned through dealing with a customer - *ahem* - club member at BJ's who was trying to decide on a computer to buy, it may just be that sometimes you have to say whatever is necessary just to be helpful.

 

For instance if someone tells you what they're looking to do with their computer, and you know 4GiB of RAM is too much for them. Do you explain why, or do you make up something that sounds like it makes more sense, they're going to forget it anyway, and get the job done quicker? If explaining the real reason requires first teaching them C++, sometimes bull crapting to the same end is an acceptable solution.

 

But ., telling a customer to buy a new computer when all he has to do is not overclock it so much is just plain stupid. :tooth:

[knopflerbruce]

I collect live recordings (mainly Dire Straits and Bruce Springsteen), and because of this I go to the post office quite often, to post CDs and DVDs to different people all over the world.

 

(Actually the post office is a part of the food store, so imagine what kind of people I have to trust my bootlegs too...)

 

One time I was sending some stuff to a guy in Slovakia, the conversation was like this:

 

"Hi, I need a bubble air envelope and that green sticker (for customs). This stuff is going to Slovakia, btw."

 

Then I wrote the weight etc. on the green sticker, signed it and then asked the girl about the total cost. Reply:

 

"I'm not quite sure, Slovakia, that's Europe, right?"

 

At this point I didn't know if I should give her a stupid look, or laugh. I did neither, instead I told her i didn't know either, I was just being given this address. Then I asked her if she had a map somewhere. She didn't find any lol. 2 seconds later the Big boss came in...

 

Me: "Hey, maybe this guy knows! Ask him."

Girl: "Ehm, this guy wants to send this thing to Slovakia. It's the worldwide rate he needs to pay for it... or?"

 

------

 

I also remember when my bro and a friend had a mini-lan party here, and one of them wanted to get some files from a different harddrive. If you've ever looked inside my case, you know that adding or removing stuff is one HELL of a job. (10 harddrives, at that time I also had dual 7900gt's etc etc.)

 

These guys know about this, but still they wanted me to put this drive inside my computer, because they were afraid they would blow up something if they put it inside one of their own PC's:)

 

Yeah, I know, it's SO much better to blow up dual 7900gt's, 10 drives, DFI Expert, X2 3800+ insane overclocker and a Creative X-Fi than a dusty old P4 with noname everything:confused:

[knopflerbruce]

I just remembered one time when I was in the food store with some girls, and this 3 year old kid said "Hi Daddyyyyyyyy" to me, very loud:) I was 15 at the time...

[Guest SuppA-SnipA]

hahahah thats funny stuff

[kitfit1]

A certain band was playing at "The Marquee Club" in London in 1979. The drummer of the band demanded to know why i had'nt wired up his kit during rehersal. The venue only held 500-700 people. He took some persueding, that if his kit went through the PA, he and everybody else in the room would have perforated eardrums within seconds of the start of the first song.