taowulf Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 A little boy & girl, both about 8 yrs old, were playing in the sandbox. Unexpectedly, the little boy farts, causing a little sand between his legs to shift. The little girl notices, & squeals with laughter. "How'd you do that?" she asks. "Easy," he exclaimed, "I just farted." "Can I try it," she asks? "Sure," he says, "anybody can do it." She concentrates as she strains & grunts. Suddenly, there's a huge explosion, the sides of the sandbox fly off, all the sand flies out, & the little boy is thrown 20 ft, landing up against a tree. He groggily gets to his feet, runs back to where the little girl is. He finds her lying on the ground, out cold, flat on her back, spread eagle. Curiously, he lifts up her dress, peeks underneath, & loudly exclaims, "Just what I thought, dual exhaust!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
taowulf Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 If you can't figure out why AMD is always losing out to Intel this will help that. It shows a little bit of AMD's marketing strategy and just how poorly the company is run. What does an AMD sticker have to do with AMD's market share? Lots of companies sponsor bike teams....including Intel. http://www.actionteam.pl/en/page/sponsorzy/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CPDMF Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 What AMD market share, there almost isn't one anymore.. Gotta love the Fanboys. It's in the joke section so don't get your panties all up in a bunch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
taowulf Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 What AMD market share, there almost isn't one anymore.. Gotta love the Fanboys. It's in the joke section so don't get your panties all up in a bunch. Not being a fanboy, I just don't see what a stupid sticker has to do with the C2D smacking the crap out of 939 and AM2. And AMD was making steady gains in market share prior to Intel coming out on top for a while again. Oh, and it has to be FUNNY for it to be a JOKE. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CPDMF Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 For some, it actually was funny. AMD knew they were in trouble long before C2D ever hit the streets. Don't know if you have ever played with Yonahs, (Core Duo, not Core2) but a Yonah clock for clock is faster than 939 or AM2. If you have this kind of knowledge, yet do not prepare yourself for what a company like intel can spend on R&D you are poorly managed company. The pic was just one example. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CPDMF Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 The History of the Middle Finger Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew"). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird." And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Septem Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 The History of the Middle Finger Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew"). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird." And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing. That's interesting, but I believe the real history behind the middle finger was its resemblance to the male genitalia. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CPDMF Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 That's interesting, but I believe the real history behind the middle finger was its resemblance to the male genitalia. I'm pretty sure it's all BS but I am fresh out of jokes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fariss Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in The Villages, in Florida. They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town. Despite his age, they ended up at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay. As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts... Claude was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been gentler." Maude was thinking: "If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken off my pantyhose." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fariss Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" . The operator said "I'll be glad to help, Dear. What's the name and room number?" . The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." . The Operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse." After a few minutes the Operator returned to the phone, "Oh, Good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday." . The Grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news." . The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" . The Grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me .." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fariss Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?" George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I'm done." "Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!" A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?" Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fariss Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 >Jose and Carlos are pandhandlers...... > >They panhandle on different areas of town. > >Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3 dollars >every day. > >Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives >in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend. > >Carlos says to Jose "I work just as long and hard as you do but how do >you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?". > >Jose says, . "Look at your sign, what does it say"? > >Carlos sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'." > >Jose says " No wonder you only get $2-3 dollars" > >Carlos says... "So what does your sign say"? > >Jose shows Carlos his sign...... > >It reads, "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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