Kamikaze_Badger Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 From the interwebs. English Is Easy?by Elizabeth Baba This should rattle your brain a little.... If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the resent, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don?t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. It's almost scary. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocmooz Posted February 28, 2009 Posted February 28, 2009 (edited) I love #11! And yes this does give one to think about, especially if you are an American with a certain lack of wit and culture. If you are like me though it reads quite easily. Or maybe I just have a twisted mind because I think in this vein incessantly? I don't know or care how you look at it. The English language is what it is because it has been stretched across the globe, and like-wise, across many cultures therefore, it is logical to have words in English with so many meanings and varied pronunciations. ^_^ Edited February 28, 2009 by ocmooz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
suedenim Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Be interesting to see the impact of the txt-ing (too lazy to spell) generation on this in 10 yrs or so Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLS2008 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Even for me, a natural English speaker, if I read them too quickly, I still can get tripped up. I can't imagine what it must be like for someone to learn English as a second language. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
scr4wl Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Apparently I'm just blind. I coulda sworn that first one said the bandage was wrapped round and round. I was like what's wrong with that Very funny it must be very hard for people to learn. I'm glad I get to learn something different. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cold_snipe Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 yes english is pretty damn hard. there are so many things that just aren't logical in this language you know.. learning french was even easier. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zertz Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Interesting read! Even for me, a natural English speaker, if I read them too quickly, I still can get tripped up. I can't imagine what it must be like for someone to learn English as a second language. English isn't as bad as French IMO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Compxpert Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 (edited) Only confirms that English is one of the hardest to learn languages out there. Even I tripped up on some of that too.. I learned Japanese took 2 years of it and it was much easier to pick up and use than english... Hell only hard part about it is you need to know about 1,200 kanji cus u use about that many in everyday life. Edited March 1, 2009 by Compxpert Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onion Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Only confirms that English is one of the hardest to learn languages out there. Heeeck no. English has got to be one of the easiest languages out there. What also always cracks me up is that most english words are exact copies of french or spanish words. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Great_Gig Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Heeeck no. English has got to be one of the easiest languages out there. What also always cracks me up is that most english words are exact copies of french or spanish words. what the heck ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkrow21 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 He is red. She is red. They are red. On jest czerwony. Ona jest czerwona. Oni sa czerwoni. Conjugations make English an easy language. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrewr05 Posted March 1, 2009 Posted March 1, 2009 Heeeck no. English has got to be one of the easiest languages out there. What also always cracks me up is that most english words are exact copies of french or spanish words.Go back to step 1, read the first post. Now imagine that you want to learn English as a 2nd language... Repeat statement in post #9 aloud, abruptly force palm against forehead... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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