Andrewr05 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 "Science Doesn't Make Any Sense!""We don't know how He does it," said Landover Junior High School teacher, Mrs Doris Whitaker, "but Jesus changes the colors of the leaves on the trees during the Fall (a season named after the fall of man from Eden, which had no autumn colors). No science book will tell you that. But it is clear that Jesus is behind the pretty colored leaves that drop off the trees as piles of trash on your lawn! Why else are only the Christmas trees left green? So they can be decorated on His birthday, that's why! Praise!" Mrs. Whitaker expressed a long-held Baptist belief that science cannot explain natural phenomenon. "For years, Congress has been able to force scientists to label their disgusting work as fiction," said Pastor Deacon Fred. "But we don't think that's good enough. It's not called "Science Fiction" for nothing folks. So-called science is just a big pile of secular lies made up solely to take the credit away from God. There is no other way of putting it! They need to stop calling it Biology, Chemistry, Astronomy, and Physics. Do they think that the people of God are going to stand by like idiots and let them rot this country's education system with a mythology spawned by hoofed demons in the fiery caves of Hell?" One does not have to have a degree in Theology to see the Devil's hot red hands in this plot. It was only a matter of time before scientists would start trying to pawn off their silly stories as "truth." Christians know that scientists have never cared, nor will they ever care, one iota about "the Truth." Because truth can't be found in the light of a Bunson Burner. It can only be seen in the Light of God's Word. And that is only found in the Bible. The Bible will tell you that God did not make man from so-called carbon; He made him with dirt. Today's scientists have taken a turn for the worse. Their mysterious campaign of deception was no doubt designed by several demons of the highest order, armed with Al Gore's calculator and more than likely orchestrated by the hoofed satyr, Lucifer, himself. Science is a "fuzzy math" and a blood-bought Baptist must have a spirit of discernment to see through secular science's toxic cloud of confusion. They mislead the public by creating different names for themselves. They say, "I'm a psychologist," or "I'm a therapist or microbiologist." Poppy-cock! That's what it is. They are nothing more than Satanists with spectacles and pockets full of pencils and rulers. In fact, the word "scientist" is actually Latin for "Satanist." Do they take Christians for fools? Jesus told us that we need to become like children if we want to get into Heaven. You see, Jesus doesn't want us to get puffed up with so-called education and knowledge, which is why He has anointed George W. Bush. Scientists would have you believe that salvation can be found in the accumulation of knowledge. They say that "knowledge" will set you free. This is hogwash according to our Lord and Savior. Through Jesus, we know that all knowledge outside of the Holy Bible is a lie. A child could tell you that! During this time of Thanksgiving, science has yet to provide an explanation as to why there are still so many turkeys available after they were all killed last year. We will tell you why: Jesus blesses us with those turkeys, end of story. We don't need to read a book to find out where they come from! They come from Jesus! And if those skinny, knock-kneed Africans had the presence of mind to come up with a holiday that centered around eating, instead of collecting shrunken heads, Jesus would give them food so they wouldn't starve, too. Ask and you shall receive! We can't understand how people fall for science. Do you know where scientists say that "ice" comes from? They say that when water gets cold, it huddles together for warmth. They say this "molecular body heat" stops the water from shaking so it becomes still. Can you believe how stupid secular scientists are? God's Word offers another explanation Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kamikaze_Badger Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 The way you are all acting you shall see what will happen to you in the future.. I've already made a pact with Satan. The more people I turn away from Christianity, the higher position I get in Hell. Right now I'm going to be sitting right over Clay. He didn't meet last years quota. Though think of this. How are we not sure that Lucifer is the true king of all, and that God didn't cast him out of Heven in order to decieve all of humanity into his own sick bidding in the afterworld with promises made in the Bible, while badmouthing Luci the entire time? It would make sense, history is written by the winners, and God would get everyone to sacrifice their souls to him. I call it the Kim Jong-Il method: Take control and spread disinformation with a fancy outer layer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ir_cow Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 hahah that video was stupid, it was just some kids high school English paper, or worst yet a kid who thinks hes Jesus Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cswit Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I BELIEVE there will be a day and when that day comes you all will have the choice to believe your choice only your choice better make the right one Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
road-runner Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I am not sure, the older I get and the more I look around at these preachers and churches wanting nothing but money and more money and no scientific proof it is getting harder and harder for me to believe in something I cant see... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kamikaze_Badger Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I BELIEVE there will be a day and when that day comes you all will have the choice to believe your choice only your choice better make the right one I have made the right one. Lucifer is the rightful ruler of the kingdom of Heaven, and one day, we will rise up and regain what is rightfully ours! Yahweh will burn in the hell he created!* * If you think I'm serious, take a few deep breaths and google "sarcasm" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kash Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I didn't know they made videos of chain emails and added some lame music in the background nowadays... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cirro Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 i thought there would be at least a picture of a shocked professor to lighten up the mood i was wrong ill take option 3) not let anyone, some 15 yr old kid with flash, a professor, or even duke wellington how i will choose to live my life. if god was such a in the bag thing, you wouldnt be making up stories about saving the lives of chaulk to get people. i dropped my bottle of pop today, but i knew, that jesus kept the soda from coming out i Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
hardnrg Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I didn't know they made videos of chain emails and added some lame music in the background nowadays... Yeah... someone needs to make a Youtube text+music about my Nigerian uncle who's got $15,000,000,000 to give to someone if they bail him out of jail... in response to that video Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 (edited) wow this is getting annoying.... Edited June 30, 2008 by damian Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClayMeow Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Is that not proof enough? /sarcasm lol, that's brilliant! How can one deny God after that?! I've already made a pact with Satan. The more people I turn away from Christianity, the higher position I get in Hell. Right now I'm going to be sitting right over Clay. He didn't meet last years quota.You're never going to be right over me, ever...got that buddy? Yeah... someone needs to make a Youtube text+music about my Nigerian uncle who's got $15,000,000,000 to give to someone if they bail him out of jail... in response to that video Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
road-runner Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Actually I think this is the video that was meant to be posted. Waring this contains adult language... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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