cal50 Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I still have my Queen albums,no more turntable but I have the albums! (For the record I still like Queen) How about this- What did Dale Earnhard and Pink Floyd have in common ? There last big hit was the wall. (focus AWAY from Queen!) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
red930 Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 From the you gotta be kiddin' me file... I just saw a turntable in the current issue of Popular Science for $55,000. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cal50 Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 From the you gotta be kiddin' me file... I just saw a turntable in the current issue of Popular Science for $55,000. And I thought my direct drive with a primo cartridge was high end.....25 years ago! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cal50 Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 No Knickers- The Englishman's wife steps up to the first tee. As she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any," she replied. The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear." Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's $20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!" Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. "Sweet mudder of Jasus, Maggie! Where the fook are yer drawers?" She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any." The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love 'o Jasus, 'n the sake of decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooler Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Even with a tiny issue with currencies, that was a good one... and it just made my day! Thanks for good laughs, cal50! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpuz Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Martha Stewart's Holiday To-Do List December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards. December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine. December 3 Using candlewick and hand-gilded miniature pine cones, fashion a cat-o-nine-tails. Flog gardener. December 4 Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim. December 5 Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself. December 6 Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration. December 7 Debug Windows '2000 December 10 Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth. December 11 Lay Faberge egg. December 12 Take dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble. December 13 Collect dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts. December 14 Install plumbing in gingerbread house. December 15 Replace air in mini-van tires with Glade "Holiday Scents" in case tires are shot out at mall. December 17 Child proof the Christmas tree with garland of razor wire. December 19 Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest will be the same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat. December 20 Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in confectioner's sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture. December 21 Drain city reservoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks. December 22 Float votive candles in toilet tank. December 23 Seed clouds for white Christmas. Festoon windows with worthless stock. December 24 Do my annual good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel less inadequate than they really are. December 25 Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color-coordinated manger scented with homemade potpourri. December 26 Organize spice racks by genus and phylum. December 27 Build snowman in exact likeness of God. December 31 New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
red930 Posted May 21, 2005 Posted May 21, 2005 This isn't technically a joke but I just about pee'ed my pants. The audio is rough but you can hear their plan of action as it unfolds. Pay attention to the AFK Leroy character on the left side of the group. http://fazed.net/common/content/out.php?id=8489 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
soundx98 Posted May 21, 2005 Posted May 21, 2005 damn that was funny. LeRoy rulz. ROFLMAO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
red930 Posted May 21, 2005 Posted May 21, 2005 cobia69 sent me that and I was dying laughing. Do you think maybe Leroy was away from keyboard to burn one? The last word from Leroy "at least I got chicken" is priceless. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
txmale36 Posted May 21, 2005 Posted May 21, 2005 that was good lol......one of the reasons i quit warcraft. stupid crap like that lol but still funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cronocrash Posted May 21, 2005 Posted May 21, 2005 now thats what i call a wipe. wow rocks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cal50 Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 I think "Leroy" is not a team player! Really funny! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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