good JOKE for ya...

[bnf]

 

 

[red930]

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,

good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

 

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in

Texas.

 

3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back

 

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary "Somewhere

I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

 

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

 

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread

maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"

So I bought her an electric chair.

 

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water

in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

 

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell

off.

 

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the

garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

 

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

 

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

 

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt

her.

 

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the

TV?" I said "Dust!"

[red930]

First Name = Always

 

Man, that's some funny stuff.

[StephenC]

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night of his office

Christmas party.

He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a

couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next

to them, a single red rose! He sits down and sees his clothing in front

of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,

spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins,

cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the

bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is

on the stove, I left early to go shopping' Love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and

the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks,

"Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke

some furniture in the hallway, puked all over the bathroom, and got that

black eye when you ran into the bedroom door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean? I have a rose,

and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when

she tried to take your pants off, you screamed 'Leave me alone, lady,

I'm married!"

Broken furniture - $185.26

Hot Breakfast - $14.20

Red Rose bud -$4.00

Two Aspirins -$.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time.........'Priceless'

[red930]

And the moral of the story is....even if you are drunk out of your mind, being true to the one you love is worth more than any amount of money can buy.

 

Now back on the subject at hand everyone...

[red930]

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. lol

[Frallan]

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed 'Leave me alone, lady,

I'm married!

 

Darn... I have to learn that trick... :dog:

[Guest Blooz1]

Yeah, but the REAL trick is to learn how to do it while DRUNK!

[Cooler]

Yeah, but the REAL trick is to learn how to do it while DRUNK!

...and to use it only when it's your wife handling you?

[red930]

The secret to success is in the application not the ability. lol

[red930]

I have no idea what's wrong with me but this one just cracks me up every time I think about it.

 

http://www.dfi-street.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20841

[Trevor]

rofl