Deathmineral Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 If you are not capable of being able to sit down with your kid, and have an adult conversation with them about why they think or feel as they do, and try to find a peaceful resolution to both of your issues, then don't have kids. I don't get what is so difficult about that? I just want to say, that's probably the rudest thing you're saying right now. The calling people names like stupid and idiot is one thing but to tell someone they shouldn't be allowed to have a child just because they don't think exactly the same as you is really about as rude as anyone can be I think. I know I said I'm not getting involved but I think this needs to be said before this thread goes any further really. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gr4vitas Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) I just want to say, that's probably the rudest thing you're saying right now. The calling people names like stupid and idiot is one thing but to tell someone they shouldn't be allowed to have a child just because they don't think exactly the same as you is really about as rude as anyone can be I think. I know I said I'm not getting involved but I think this needs to be said before this thread goes any further really. Eh its no biggie, I can see he is heated about the subject and I understand where he is coming from. I'm not insulted plus I doubt he really means it! Edited February 10, 2012 by Gr4vitas Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_bowtie Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 the thing people need to understand is neither parenting NOR children come with any sort of manual.... Nor do all kids handle situations the same... what punishment works for one doesnt another... some kids dont get it as easy as others but that doesnt mean a child should ever be abused... My children all know the coarse of punishments in our home.. THEY choose that punishment... I am just the parent who makes sure they get what they have chosen...they are CLEARLY given those options BEFORE they make the choice to wrong or right... thats how my household works... the children know the punishment before they ever do the crime...more incentive to do right as they know where they stand when the do wrong... if they go ahead I pull all they devices away... if that dont work we explore the next coarse of punishment... the end result is a spanking... sometimes talking just doesnt work and children are smart enough to know if you're just going to talk about what they did wrong thats more incentive to do wrong as they know all they will get is a talking to... it also revolves around how the home life is and the parents react... I can say my children have maybe gotten a spanking once every two years... maybe... and the boys seem to get it more than the girls... I cannot remember the last time my daughters have gotten a spanking except my 4 year old who received 3 swats just the other night... best attitude adjustment she's had in a while... I can say I will NOT tolerate any sort of abuse if I see it in public... and I am not afraid to say something or take action when I see it... in no means should any child ever endure abuse... that tells me thats a person who never wanted children to begin with... I actually want all of mine and I have quite a few.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjj226_Angel Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 This is coming from someone I presume that does not have any kids, I mean seriously. Dude think about it, we go out everyday and work our tales off dealing with crap people to earn a living that allows our kid to go to school. We come home and have to deal with the issues around the house as well as do stuff with our kids. Then we crawl into bed to do it again, all this BTW with the stress of how are kids are doing as well as how we will take care on them on our heads ever day. In the case of this Dad he asked his kid to do chores to help the family out, news flash is not all that big of a deal. As for not getting the whole story, as a father that has been through two kids with almost exactly the same story as his I am willing to bet we are getting most of it. Now in the case of my daughter I did not shoot the PC, I did however take it away from her. I mean completely away with the HD formatted and her data GONE! After all it is really MY PC, bought with my money and she was just being allowed to use it. Was this father dramatic, oh for sure, way over the top. However abuse or a bad parent, no I would say he is about the norm, in fact I think if I ever have a circumstance like this again to deal with I might borrow a gun and a camera. See that I can understand. But again, I think you should listen to exactly what the message he read said. This does not sound like the normal rebel thing. She is not a girl coming home with some biker gang if you catch my drift. The getting them coffee thing, and the cleaning lady thing really sets off some bells. Can you ask for drinks from someone? Sure. However, I get the impression it is not so light hearted. The one part that really bugged me was "If I clean the floor and you track mud in the house, then don't ask me to clean it up". I mean how would any of you guys feel if you worked hard to clean a floor and I through a bucket of mud on it and said "oh, clean that up". I guarantee you that half of you wold punch me in the face, and the other half of you would kick me in my balls. So why is it not the same in this case? I mean she didn't light her parents bed on fire, she didn't run away, she didn't shoot anyone. All she did was write a very strongly worded face book post. Is there no sympathy or empathy from any adult for the kid? Apparently not, so the dad ends up taking all his anger out on her laptop with a gun? Can you say over react much? First off I would have sat down and done the whole guilt the truth out of her thing. "Do we really over work you that much???" Type of thing. Chances are she would have said no. The chances of everything his daughter writing about being exaggerated are pretty high. However, with the percussions her dad took, I would venture to say that things are worse than she wrote about. You guys also have to understand that my mother had a situation similar to hers. However, instead of all the kids doing chores, it was just her and her brother. She did the house work because she was a girl and her brother did the yard work. My mother still has scars from being beaten for dropping a fork as she was rushing to set the table. Now the first born son, did nothing at all simply because he was the first born son. I mean you guys sit there and generalize that this was just some dumb rebellious teenager. In which case, I would sort of agree with the dad. No two ways about it. However, I seriously believe that she is being worked like Cinderella was. I am afraid for the girl because her dad obviously can resort to using a gun to resolve an issue (which is why I am not for the second amendment either ((((((I know...shocking right? Don't argue with me about that either, you already saw it coming )))) so whats next? A few shots in a laptop, then I guess a few shots in the leg won't matter either? I mean at what point do you guys draw a line and really start thinking that maybe this went a bit too far, and maybe the parents need to be examined a little bit closer? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deathmineral Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Eh its no biggie, I can see he is heated about the subject and I understand where he is coming from. I'm not insulted plus I doubt he really means it! I don't really think being heated is a good excuse for being rude. It's kind of like the police officer saying "well he's all coked up, I can kind of understand him swerving around on the road!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gr4vitas Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I don't really think being heated is a good excuse for being rude. It's kind of like the police officer saying "well he's all coked up, I can kind of understand him swerving around on the road!" Well this isn't a life and death situation for them or other motorists Sticks and stones may break my bones...that whole thing ^_^ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_bowtie Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 See that I can understand. But again, I think you should listen to exactly what the message he read said. This does not sound like the normal rebel thing. She is not a girl coming home with some biker gang if you catch my drift. The getting them coffee thing, and the cleaning lady thing really sets off some bells. Can you ask for drinks from someone? Sure. However, I get the impression it is not so light hearted. The one part that really bugged me was "If I clean the floor and you track mud in the house, then don't ask me to clean it up". I mean how would any of you guys feel if you worked hard to clean a floor and I through a bucket of mud on it and said "oh, clean that up". I guarantee you that half of you wold punch me in the face, and the other half of you would kick me in my balls. So why is it not the same in this case? I mean she didn't light her parents bed on fire, she didn't run away, she didn't shoot anyone. All she did was write a very strongly worded face book post. Is there no sympathy or empathy from any adult for the kid? Apparently not, so the dad ends up taking all his anger out on her laptop with a gun? Can you say over react much? First off I would have sat down and done the whole guilt the truth out of her thing. "Do we really over work you that much???" Type of thing. Chances are she would have said no. The chances of everything his daughter writing about being exaggerated are pretty high. However, with the percussions her dad took, I would venture to say that things are worse than she wrote about. You guys also have to understand that my mother had a situation similar to hers. However, instead of all the kids doing chores, it was just her and her brother. She did the house work because she was a girl and her brother did the yard work. My mother still has scars from being beaten for dropping a fork as she was rushing to set the table. Now the first born son, did nothing at all simply because he was the first born son. I mean you guys sit there and generalize that this was just some dumb rebellious teenager. In which case, I would sort of agree with the dad. No two ways about it. However, I seriously believe that she is being worked like Cinderella was. I am afraid for the girl because her dad obviously can resort to using a gun to resolve an issue (which is why I am not for the second amendment either ((((((I know...shocking right? Don't argue with me about that either, you already saw it coming )))) so whats next? A few shots in a laptop, then I guess a few shots in the leg won't matter either? I mean at what point do you guys draw a line and really start thinking that maybe this went a bit too far, and maybe the parents need to be examined a little bit closer? LOL this made me laugh a little.... is the dad being a little hard on the girl....? NO Does the girl think her dad is being hard on her by doing chores? Yes I think she does... Her as well as most kids dont get it... he is teaching her not only respect but Sel-Respect.... teaching her that to have all her father has means you MUST take care of it... clean it every day and Appreciate it... do you know how many people are lazy as hell and dont clean every day or once a week or once a month...???? many dont clean and its sickening... of coarse the girl doesnt get it but she will later in life when she's working her butt off and her child isnt taking care of it... I make my children clean the house and their rooms... they make the mess they clean it... but I teach rthem how important it is to do so... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coors Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I am afraid for the girl because her dad obviously can resort to using a gun to resolve an issue (which is why I am not for the second amendment either ((((((I know...shocking right? Don't argue with me about that either, you already saw it coming )))) so whats next? A few shots in a laptop, then I guess a few shots in the leg won't matter either? I mean at what point do you guys draw a line and really start thinking that maybe this went a bit too far, and maybe the parents need to be examined a little bit closer? I bet Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than his gun Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gr4vitas Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 LOL this made me laugh a little.... is the dad being a little hard on the girl....? NO Does the girl think her dad is being hard on her by doing chores? Yes I think she does... Her as well as most kids dont get it... he is teaching her not only respect but Sel-Respect.... teaching her that to have all her father has means you MUST take care of it... clean it every day and Appreciate it... do you know how many people are lazy as hell and dont clean every day or once a week or once a month...???? many dont clean and its sickening... of coarse the girl doesnt get it but she will later in life when she's working her butt off and her child isnt taking care of it... I make my children clean the house and their rooms... they make the mess they clean it... but I teach rthem how important it is to do so... Agreed. I mean none of us have the 'full story' so I can't say with perfect certainty that her parents are over the line with how much they 'make her do'. But I can say for a fact that when ever my parents told me to do chores when I was a kid, even if it was the littlest thing I always felt like it was a thousand times worse than it was, eventually I learned that if I stopped making a fuss about it and just did it I'd have it done a lot faster and I could get back to playing video games or something. Those countless hours I spent splitting and stacking wood on our porch for winter time....some real serious character building. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gr4vitas Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) I am afraid for the girl because her dad obviously can resort to using a gun to resolve an issue (which is why I am not for the second amendment either ((((((I know...shocking right? Don't argue with me about that either, you already saw it coming )))) so whats next? A few shots in a laptop, then I guess a few shots in the leg won't matter either? I mean at what point do you guys draw a line and really start thinking that maybe this went a bit too far, and maybe the parents need to be examined a little bit closer? Okay I'm trying to be reasonable and respectable here with this debate but...when you say things like this (and with all due respect) it really upsets me and worries me that there are a LOT of people that think the same way you do. I mean you honestly think that because someone shot up their kids laptop, the next logical step will be shooting up their kids leg? That's probably the dumbest thing (no offense to you) I've ever heard, and sadly I hear things similar to this all the time from people trying to get guns banned and other things. I feel as though people like you and people that think the way you do really do not have a good grasp on the reality of things. I know I'm being harsh here but I really feel that way and it really scares me. It scares me that people that think that the next step from shooting your daughters laptop is shooting your daughter are the people that are going to get my guns taken away. Do you have any sense of the things that go on around you? Edited February 10, 2012 by Gr4vitas Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjj226_Angel Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Well thats the problem man, you can't sit down and have an adult conversation with...kids. It just doesn't work, they need punishment. As far as your friend goes, obviously he wasn't punished. He was beat by his parent, who was using punishment as an excuse, obviously that's not alright. Spanking or whipping for punishment does not entail blood...hell half the time it doesn't even entail tears if the kid is really spirited! (well they'll cry once you let them go to there room ) My brother would never cry when he got whipped, he was so stubborn he didn't even want to show that he cared, he acted like it didn't matter and with a "I'll do it again anyway" attitude while he was being spanked / whipped. But without fail as soon as he was let go to his room he would cry like a little girly believe me, we learned a very valuable lesson from our (very few) whippings. Anyway point is your basing your "life long goal" of abolishing punishment off of something completely wrong. Your friends parents were abusive, you should be fighting for child abuse, not child teaching. I was whipped as a kid and I'm very thankful for it, and subsequently I'll whip my kids too if they deserve it. More often then not you can just talk to them or maybe give them a little grounding, but there are simply times when nothing will do but a spanking or whipping. Notice I did not say my life long goal was about the abolishment of punishment. That IS just stupid (not you but the idea). But I am talking more about spanking or physical punishment. Grounding is fine, hard labor, also fine. Punishment is a good thing. You guys might find this VERY odd coming from me, but I do strongly believe in the death penalty. Basically I believe in a punishment that fits the crime. If a kid spanks you then you can spank it. If a kid commits murder, then the kid should get the death penalty. An eye for an eye type thing. This is how I was raised, and my child hood had its dark days as well. However, I have seen children spanked for no more than simple accidents. I mean just the other day a kid accidentally knocked over a glass of water. He wasn't messing around it was a honest accident. He was spanked very violently. I mean if the adult did that, some people might chuckle, but that would be the extent. You guys all assume that people know where to draw the lines in punishment, and maybe you can govern yourself fairly well. However there are a TON of people out there that don't know when or where to stop. That is why I feel like so much of this needs to end. It isn't because children shouldn't be punished (because again that IS just stupid), but I want to see it gone because so many people do take it to the point of abuse, or slave labor. Some of it is simply a means to make the adult feel superior. You guys truly don't understand that there are far better methods to handling a situation than jumping straight to hitting kids, and that not everyone spanks or punishes their kid for justified reasons. By the way, spanking is abuse. If your boss came in and spanked you for forgetting to take out the office trash, you would sue the crap out of him. So then the same applies for any kid. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deathmineral Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Well this isn't a life and death situation for them or other motorists Sticks and stones may break my bones...that whole thing ^_^ Children don't even understand that saying, words are swords to children, you can call a child a bad name and most certainly will hurt them, possibly kill their self-esteem if you're creative. Let's face it, you said something the wrong way and that little boy is going to grow up to be neo-nazi and probably shoot up a black bar. So... yup, I would say it most certainly can turn into a life or death situation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now