Rokkaholik Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Not sure if this is completely true or not, but it's pretty funny just the same AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 01:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone . numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and o ne to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fire_storm Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 lol funny :lol: Doubt its true though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savan Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 nice Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rokkaholik Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 lol funny :lol: Doubt its true though. I agree... The threats on the prez are what made it too over the top. The secret service wouldn't care who's phone it was made from, but rather the person making the threats... If that part would have been left out, I can see the rest easily happening, and well deserved Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
xPETEZx Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Very funny, but OTT after the FBI. Even the car thing (key the pimp mobile) is pretty stupid. When the guy comes ack, hes not gonna be like "who keyed my car? oh, this guy who conveniently left his wallet". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krieg1337 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Very funny, but OTT after the FBI. Even the car thing (key the pimp mobile) is pretty stupid. When the guy comes ack, hes not gonna be like "who keyed my car? oh, this guy who conveniently left his wallet". Humans aren't perfect. Could have slipped out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
IVIYTH0S Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 haha that was awesome Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
j2t Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 funny..yes...true, no way Of course it could be some truth that was exaggerated a bit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlrwrite Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Probably not enirely true but, it should be! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverfox Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Probably just written to get attention across the Internet on forums or something. Oh wait ... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sero123 Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 Hahaha cracked me up... xPETEZx check your inbox mate got a question for you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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