flareback Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 (edited) Even the Bible says that cheating is grounds for divorce. I never said committing adultery wasn't grounds for divorce. I just don't feel it is the best option. You don't have to get a divorce just because one commits adultery. Edited March 11, 2009 by flareback Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
InCrYsIs Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I never said committing adultery wasn't grounds for divorce. I just don't feel it is the best option here. You don't have to get a divorce just because one commits adultery. No you don't have to but no matter what he says the first time they are laying in bed and she makes a move it is going to pop in there. And the fact he knows what this guy looks like it will be very unattractive in his mind. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flareback Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 No you don't have to but no matter what he says the first time they are laying in bed and she makes a move it is going to pop in there. And the fact he knows what this guy looks like it will be very unattractive in his mind. It won't be easy. Marriage isn't easy, it's a lot of work and since she has cheated on him it will be even more work. And I'm sure it will take time for him to get over it but marriage isn't something that she be taken lightly. As I said before it is a covenant between 2 people (Actually it's between 3 man woman and God but I hope you'll let my mistake slide). I feel that to just up and divorce without at least trying to reconcile would be mistake. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coors Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 It won't be easy. Marriage isn't easy, it's a lot of work and since she has cheated on him it will be even more work. And I'm sure it will take time for him to get over it but marriage isn't something that she be taken lightly. As I said before it is a covenant between 2 people (Actually it's between 3 man woman and God but I hope you'll let my mistake slide). I feel that to just up and divorce without at least trying to reconcile would be mistake. Not everyone that gets married is religious. It's not the 50's anymore Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flareback Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Not everyone that gets married is religious. It's not the 50's anymore True, but the OP also said they were catholic, even if not following the teaching closely. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
InCrYsIs Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 So far he is just taking it slowly and not rushing into a decision. They have been separated for a couple of months anyway but that was because she wanted to. I think now that he knows this that will put it back on his terms. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verran Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 You can forgive all you want, but I don't think this is something you'll ever forget. I don't think I could live with that in the back of my head for the rest of my life. I'd constantly be wondering when she was going to do it again. I think it'd have to cut my losses and move on. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
benjaminw Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 They are both Catholic and were married in church. He isn't religious but she is which makes this even more interesting. I am definitely going to have him read all this. Maybe something will click from strangers. I react better sometimes to strangers opinions because they aren't tainted or biased. How do you balance forgiveness and grace; with standing in front of your family and friends, in a house of God, and publicly committing honesty and forever- WHILE LYING??? In a non-"modernized" religion, any person to break those vows should be the recipient of some OLD TESTAMENT restitution... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cirro Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 if you dedicate yourself to someone and they do you wrong in that way, there is no true way for "closure", closure only exists when you can go back and change the outcome some wounds dont heal. and if they have the ability to do it, they will again. just like how morals prevent some people from doing drugs, some do, some never do. rehab and that yatta is # $Q@#. when that is violated to the point of doing it in the brain it's moved out of that moral block , and has become different, thats a change in the brains concept of the idea. thats permanent. forgiving doesnt mean everything should go on like before, because its not. its soiled, its not pure , and isnt that whats supposed to seperate and dignify the sanctity of marriage? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjloki Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 You can forgive all you want, but I don't think this is something you'll ever forget. I don't think I could live with that in the back of my head for the rest of my life. I'd constantly be wondering when she was going to do it again. I think it'd have to cut my losses and move on. ^ that's right...trust is like a valuable crystal vase...once it's broken you can superglue the thing back together beautifully and make it look perfect as ever but it will still be shattered and full of cracks...never the same as it was ever again...it will always be broken... the guy who's living out this situation has a decision to make....to stay or leave....it's not an easy decision but either way there will be consequences Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waco Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 He needs to get a lawyer and kick her to the curb PRONTO. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
InCrYsIs Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 He needs to get a lawyer and kick her to the curb PRONTO. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Actually he doesn't have to get one. She left him and abandoned the house. She also cheated on him. She can put up a fight but she isn't entitled to anything. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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