Parents Threatening To Kick Me Out And Cut Me Off...

[Verran]

don't say he will throw his life away, i went to college on my own. its hard, but it sure is possible

If you're given a choice between a place to live and college money (details lacking, but still...) or cigarettes... and you choose cigarettes... I'd say that's pretty close to throwing your life away.

 

I don't agree with the father's attitude here in principle, but this is a place where "fighting the good fight" just out of principle is simply not worth it. Kick the habit, suck it up, and get on with life. Better health, free room and board, and help with college... sounds like a real bum deal, alright

[cirro]

Your deep hatred shouldn't be for people who drink, it should be for the complete and utter morons that decide to drive after drinking. Don't pin the stupid mistake of one person upon the rest of the drinking population.

 

i dont hate people for drinking, just drinking.

just as his father hates smoking not him

[Nerm]

You live under your Dad's roof so what he says goes whether you like it or not. I agree with Verran that choosing cigs over financial support for college would be a pretty silly move.

[airman]

thanks for all of the replies.

 

everyone - i know continuing smoking over financial support is a silly move. i'm not that much of an idiot. if he really is serious about that i'll stop.

 

let me add to the story. my brother currently goes to a university. costs about 6-7 grand a semester for him to go there. i am practically going to my tech school for free, on state scholarships. i have $2500 a semester with the life scholarship (maintianing a 3.0GPA) and the tuition is $1800 a semester for a full time student. all that really has to be paid for is books/etc. my brother lost his share of his scholarships within the first semester of attending his university because of his whopping 1.5GPA. when my brother comes home, (who is 20 currently) he'll occasionally make remarks about how is "favorite beer is this" and things along those lines. he's had one or two alcohol possession fines at the university which my parents know about. he also smokes cigarettes too, but i don't think my parents have noticed that yet. i stay home much more than he does [during the summer when he doesn't have class]. he spends probably 30-40% of his time outside the house when he is not working. I on the other hand, spend about 5-10%. i am taking courses over the summer to catch up and get ahead for the fall semester. that is the part i find extremely unfair. what say ya'll?

 

i'm not the type of person who will expose someone else because i've been caught doing something and that particular person hasn't. maybe i SHOULD say something to them about my brother?

 

i could be making over $400 a week if my parents allowed me to work that much. 15 hours a week versus 40 hours a week. they say i don't need to kill myself working full time now because they're "helping me out and i don't need all of that money."

Edited June 23, 2008 by airman

[Dynamic]

So I just ran into my dad tonight just after I smoked a cigarette. He smelled it on me and says if I keep smoking that he'll cut me off, not help me out on my tuition nor allow me to live in the house anymore. I really don't see the issue here...I am of age to do so, I don't smoke more than a pack a week, and I definitely don't smoke inside the house or when they're around. He said that by helping me out with tuition, he's essentially helping me buy cigarettes which he doesn't condone. I have a job, I make about $150 a week. Is this irrational? It's not like I am doing drugs, I am more than willing to pass whatever test he wants me to.

 

I've wanted to move out for a while, but I really don't know what to do here.

 

I don't want this to turn into a thread about how smoking is bad for you and that I should stop, that I know. It says it right on the box. I'm really trying to get some insight about how he would feel so strongly and so strict about it...especially threatening to kick me out and cut me off.

 

 

Parents tend to take things to the extreme sometimes. "I'll kick you out of the house", plus more of the same comments you've stated above in your post that they have told you. They would try something like that to see how you would react. Try to be in their shoes and understand who they are and who you are for them. Seeing all these negitive impacts that a cigerratte has on people, they don't want to see it on you. A pack a week, DUDE NOT BAD. I smoke a PACK a DAY. 28, and still live with my parents. Yes, they have said the same "$|-||T to me as well. They're not paying for my school though, he he he. Cig, girls, drugs, too much of anything, what the heck is the difference unless its controlled or you can find it in yourself that you don't need one or any. I don't know if i'm making any sense, in my head i think i am, but i'm trying to say, they love you dude, and you shouldn't have started smoking to begin with. It will slow you down, plus millions and trillions of other illnesses will happen to your system. That's an extra 4.50 a week for a cig considering that you pay the SAME AMOUNT for gas, he he he he.

Edited June 24, 2008 by Dynamic

[Branjo]

The old parental statement "When your under my roof you'll do what I say" is just something us parents say when we can't think of a good enough reason, its usually followed by "Because I say so" when actually it should be "Because I actually can't think of a legitimate reason to make you do what I want, so Im gonna say the same thing my parents said to me, and say it with enough determination as to end the conversation on a win so, BECAUSE I SAID SO!".

 

Sounds a bit over controlling to me and maybe dad needs to know what personal choice means. Your not doing anything illegal or bringing the police to his door, your in college trying to better your life for you, not him. If he isn't prepared to let you make your own decision now then you can expect more of the same whenever you do something else he doesn't agree with. As a parent we can only teach our kids so much before we have to let them make their own decisions. When your the legal age to do something legal I think its no ones business to tell you how to live your life. He may be trying to teach you a lesson his way but I think the age when you would have just done what you were told without question has come and gone and not very realistic or fair of him to ask it of you anymore.

 

If you were 13-17 years old I would give you the exact opposite advise and tell you to do what your told and keep your butt in school, but your not, your an adult. Some choices in life are your own to make, no one would blame you for saying yes sir I will give them up if my college education depends on it.

 

If you want my guess, and if your dad is generally a good guy then I would say its a big fat bluff and I would call it and raise the stakes. Say your going to leave his house and move in with your gay boyfriend Raul and start a drama group for the local church and when you wake up the next morning there will be a carton of Marlboro, a beer and a Playboy next to your cornflakes....lol

Edited June 23, 2008 by Branjo

[road-runner]

If you want my guess, and if your dad is generally a good guy then I would say its a big fat bluff and I would call it and raise the stakes. Say your going to leave his house and move in with your gay boyfriend Raul and start a drama group for the local church and when you wake up the next morning there will be a carton of Marlboro, a beer and a Playboy next to your cornflakes....lol

[airman]

If you want my guess, and if your dad is generally a good guy then I would say its a big fat bluff and I would call it and raise the stakes. Say your going to leave his house and move in with your gay boyfriend Raul and start a drama group for the local church and when you wake up the next morning there will be a carton of Marlboro, a beer and a Playboy next to your cornflakes....lol

 

 

/has same exact reaction as rr times like 40

Edited June 23, 2008 by airman

[fire_storm]

[Kamikaze_Badger]

His house, his money, his rules. Been said enough. Drop smoking untill you're out of college.

[Waco]

The old parental statement "When your under my roof you'll do what I say" is just something us parents say when we can't think of a good enough reason

On the contrary I think it's a perfectly good reason in and of itself.

[Kamikaze_Badger]

1.00