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"Old Sayings"


watsonte

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These are all very hilarious, there really is an endless amount of these...I didnt get a chance to go through and check out locations...but Id like to see some from those of you over seas...

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The problem with arguing with an idot is that no one else can tell who is the stupid one.

 

If it moves and it shouldnt duc tape it if it doesnt move and it should WD40.

 

he is crooked as a lawyer.

 

 

Just say no to _______

 

 

Driving like a cop on the way to the donut shop.

 

Like polishing a turd.

 

Take off the beer goggles.

 

_________ are a a lot like cowpadies they are easer to pick up the older they get.

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"Know it like the back of my hand."

 

This one really makes no sense, I look down at my hands and see something at the back I've never seen before every time I look at them...

 

Plenty of others, but can't think of any right now.

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All from my gramps...

 

To describe something fast, like one of his old motorcycles

“Runs like a stripe-ed assed ape”

 

An ugly woman, I never understood this one

“She could open a jar of pickles just by looking at it”

 

Too many of something or someone

“You couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting ___”

 

Instead of “why not”

“Might as well, I can’t dance and it’s too windy to haul rocks”

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he/she is a couple fries short of a "Happy Meal" ( .... sometimes the hamburger too)

 

The wheels turning...but the hampster is dead.....

 

Hey...your village called...their Idiots missing.......

 

I think he/she is 2 sheets short of a full wipe.....

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You want sympathy, you’ll find it in the dictionary between Sh*thead and Syphilis.

 

You’ve got a better chance getting an audience with the Queen of England.

 

If “Ifs” and “Buts” were fruit and nuts, it always would be Christmas.

 

Well. That’s a deep subject.

(Think about it, it’s corny.)

 

And as we get older:

 

Every day above ground is good.

 

You can’t bull crap a bullsh*tter.

 

Go peddle your . somewhere else.

 

You think you have it tough? When I was your age …..

 

You want to play hardball, welcome to the major leagues!

 

When you pay the bills, you can make the rules.

 

He who dies with the most toys wins. (Sarcasm)

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heh

 

If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'!

 

he doesn't know . from Shinolah (I don't really understand this one but it was popular in my family)

 

couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag (one of my favorites haha)

 

a gold plated turd is still a turd (this is one you will see me use a lot around here!)

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Guest Blooz1

H_G - "Shinola" is/was a brand of shoepolish.

 

Some that were real popular with locals when I lived in Fla -

 

"Slicker than owl snot on a glass doorknob"

"Dumb as a stump"

"Dumber than a box of rocks"

"Steppin' and fetchin' like his hair's on fire and his butt is ketchin'"

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