good JOKE for ya...

[red930]

Actually it's from the very first Robin Williams concert film back in the 80's.

 

The Irish priest is trying to get the gun from Tommy when Tommy shoots him. That's when the priest tells him, "you're gonna smoke a turd in purgatory for that one Tommy."

 

Smoke a turd ?

I think that is from the movie CPU Z's avatar is from!

Labadore,that's some good _hit man.......

[Angry_Games]

mike are you going to check in at the admin section ever?

[Trevor]

22 Things To Never Say To A Cop

 

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

 

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

 

3. Aren't you that guy from the Village People?

 

4. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with me...Good job!

 

5. Excuse me...is stick up hyphenated?

 

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

 

7. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

 

8. Bad cop! No donut!

 

9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

 

10. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

 

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?

 

12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

 

13. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonald's?

 

14. I pay your salary!

 

15. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

 

16. Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too!

 

17. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

 

18. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are.

 

19. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

 

20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

 

21. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum.

 

22. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

 

HAHAHAHAAHAHAH ROFL

[cal50]

After having their 11th child, a West Virginia couple

decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger

bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him

that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a

vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was

expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor,

was to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a

beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count

to 10.

 

The West Virginian said to the doctor, "I may not be the

smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a

cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

 

"Trust me, " said the doctor.

 

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

 

"1"

 

"2"

 

"3"

 

"4"

 

"5"

 

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and

resumed counting on his other hand.

 

This procedure also works in Kentucky, Mississippi, Alabama, and

North Carolina.

[vega27]

oh, you HAD to add kentucky to that one, didn't ya??? :shake:

[cal50]

oh, you HAD to add kentucky to that one, didn't ya??? :shake:

 

Hey,my family is from West Virginia. "Another" state was in the main line and I switched it.

 

Oops!

[red930]

Ah, West Virginia!

 

Where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.

 

Why does everything in Virginia lean to the west? Because West Virginina SUCKS!

 

What do you call a virgin in West Virginia? Faster than her Brothers!

 

That's enough for now I hope!

[cal50]

Such brutality,I like it!!

 

Hey Ex, I am a "buckeye" now. Ohio SUCKS.

 

Do you know what G.T.O. means ?

Go to Ohio!

[Frallan]

LoL - That was hillarious...

[StephenC]

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state her husband readily agreed.

 

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

 

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had

been let go. It was unlikely that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what

he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

 

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years of deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the 30 years she had charged him for ., these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings

and investments.

 

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

 

THAT'S WHEN SHE SHOT HIM!

 

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.....

[red930]

Oh man that is sooooooooo messed-up LOL

[cal50]

A man found a bottle with a genie on the beach. The Genie promised him three wishes and they could not be continuous. The only catch was that whatever he wished for his mother - in - law received twice as much of it. The man thought awhile and formulated his plan. He then told the genie, "I am ready. First give me ten million dollars in the bank." The Genie looked at him funny and said you know your mother in law will get twenty million." That's o.k. said the man. Poof it was done. Secondly, the man said give me a ten million dollar mansion. The genie said, o.k. and it was done. He then reminded the man he had only one wish left and that his mother in law still got twice as much. with a smile on his face the man said beat me half to death.