bigred Posted January 20, 2004 Posted January 20, 2004 Okay, first off my experience with very young children is next to nothing outside the last 4 days. My wife and I have been raising her 3 yr old neice now for a few months, so I have some understanding of a todler, just not an infant. so here's the debate my wife and I are having. Baby starts wimpering in his crib. Nothing major next to the "crying" he does when he needs/wants something major. I let him wimper a few minutes before going to see what he's doing. my wife goes running to him at the first noise he makes. is it better to let him wimper and just get it out of his system? or is it better to go running to his side every 10 seconds? and no I won't leave him wimpering for more than 2-3 min tops. if it goes on longer than that (which it usually doesn't) then I go pick him up and rock him until he quiets down (for a few minutes at least). also learned NOT to go pick him up when not wearing a shirt. little bugger can clamp down REAL fast / hard. and no he's being bottle fed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClayMeow Posted January 20, 2004 Posted January 20, 2004 well, i'm not a parent, but seeing as you're getting no replies, i'll tell you what i know anyways There's no real RIGHT way. Neither of you are doing anything particularly wrong. Like you said, it's not like you're neglecting your baby for an extended period. From a psychological standpoint, i can tell you about a study done between baby in America and babies in Japan....babies in America, when given their normal shots, for immunizations and such, cry almost all the time. In Japan, however, they usually don't even make a peep....like nothing even happened to them. The theory on it is because in Japan, mothers don't leave their babies like mothers in America do. They're constantly around their babies, nurturing them. So your wife is leaning more towards that, by running to it right away...but i doubt it would make any significant difference as i'm sure neither of you are with it 24/7. As it gets a little older, however, your way is probably better. You don't want your child to think that you or your wife will come whenever he beckons...he could eventually become too attached, where as your method, waiting a little, will develop more independence, which personally i feel is better, but i guess it's a matter of opinion. Like you said, sometimes he stops crying after a couple of minutes, so it obviously wasn't TOO important, right? I wouldn't harp on your wife too much though. I think it's pretty natural for mothers to be like that. But i also wouldn't let her get on your case about not darting to the room whenever he wimpers...you're not going to do any harm to him by doing so. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gravy Posted January 20, 2004 Posted January 20, 2004 advice from a father Don't pick up the baby every time she wimpers. Keep a monitor on or stay close enough so you will be aware of what is going on, but don't jump every time. Mine is 2 yrs. now, so I do know what I am talking about. After a while, you will start to "understand" her languauge, as in, you will start to recognize if it is "just another wimper" or if it is "something not right". My wife and I put a mental time limit of fussing of about 5 minutes. If it goes on longer than that it is time to check on baby. But, keep in mind, that this is a critical time for "your" baby. She will begin to get used to your response time according to how she cries. I can tell you this much. It will never hurt, at least at first, to grab her up every time she cries, and hey, you have to admit that holding her makes you feel more human than anything else could. I say, in the end, go with your gut, for now. Remember, that child depends on you and your wife for everything. Somewhere around 1yr. old, you will definately need to have some structure to things, although the sooner the better. My baby was sleeping soundly from 9PM till 9 or 10AM at the age of 1yr. Without a peep all night, and to this day, 9pm comes round, she gives "kisses and hugs" to mom and dad and climbs into her own bed and goes right to sleep. The next thing I hear is at 9 or 10AM, "DADA, GET UP"! Just glad I have a job that allows me to do that. I could go on and on, but, I won't. Would be here all night typing, and I need to go to bed myself. :-) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazwegion Posted January 25, 2004 Posted January 25, 2004 Children/babies learn from a very young age, what gets a response so leaving bubs to wimper (not cry) for a short/fixed period is NOT a bad thing... also helps them learn to settle (night time) themselves later in their infancy. However... no one child is alike, believe me I've raised 5 you will (as already stated) have to learn their language different tones/cries for various reasons Everyone does it differently... and there's way too many experts out there in the world, so I guess it comes down to what feels right for you... good luck! Red Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelticaFLM Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 Everything I've read says exactly what the guys said...I have no actual experience but I've read just about everything there is ....I'll prolly be just like ure wife red....d3 will have to lock me in the bedroom to keep me from running to the baby every time I hear something...not necessarily a cry..just anything ....I've read that it's best to let them cry a little so that they learn to sooth themselves and don't become too dependant on the mother...but then i've also read that it can cause anxiety etc etc later in life if you don't go to them when they cry <_< ..it's confusing...forget the books...I think the experienced fathers would have to know better..i'll probably be askin you a few questions in a couple years Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazwegion Posted February 7, 2004 Posted February 7, 2004 Unfortunately Celtica as I stated before... there's way too many experts in the world... Dr. Spock is just another BAD example, however I really like Dr. Phil It occurs to me that your beloved Care Bears collection will not be safe from miniture marauding D3's best of luck with that scenario! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelticaFLM Posted February 7, 2004 Posted February 7, 2004 It occurs to me that your beloved Care Bears collection will not be safe from miniture marauding D3's best of luck with that scenario! The thought had already occured to me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazwegion Posted February 8, 2004 Posted February 8, 2004 Being a handy guy couldn't D3 build you a 'lovely' stained wood & glass display case for them? <_< More work for you D3 Better make that bullet-proof glass Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelticaFLM Posted February 8, 2004 Posted February 8, 2004 Ya know...thats an excellent idea ::hint::hint:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigred Posted February 8, 2004 Posted February 8, 2004 eh stuffed animals can't have them around here. Katie thinks barney, elmo, and cookie monster are all dead cuz the dogs have ripped up her stuffed animals of them hehehe good dogs! baby wise, it seems little Jeffery is doing just fine with wimpering till he's got that out of his system. crying still gets him attention, but the little stuff has subsided (I think he's learning it doesn't get him anywhere) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sly_C Posted February 8, 2004 Posted February 8, 2004 can't have them around here. Katie thinks barney, elmo, and cookie monster are all dead cuz the dogs have ripped up her stuffed animals of them hahahahaha, man thats funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazwegion Posted February 8, 2004 Posted February 8, 2004 eh stuffed animals can't have them around here. Katie thinks barney, elmo, and cookie monster are all dead cuz the dogs have ripped up her stuffed animals of them hehehe good dogs! baby wise, it seems little Jeffery is doing just fine with wimpering till he's got that out of his system. crying still gets him attention, but the little stuff has subsided (I think he's learning it doesn't get him anywhere) eh stuffed animals can't have them around here. Katie thinks barney, elmo, and cookie monster are all dead cuz the dogs have ripped up her stuffed animals of them hehehe good dogs! That's awful!... kids (& Celtica ) love their 'soft toys' and now Katie's are truly stuffed toys... Bad dogs... <_< here chew this nice juicy A64 processor... good doggy And shame on you too Sly_C for thinking it was funny That's good to hear Jeffery is changing his behaviour for the better Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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