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good JOKE for ya...

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Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

 

 

So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

 

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

 

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

 

He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you,

and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.

 

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you,

and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you!

 

She will bear your children.

and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

 

"She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."

 

 

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

 

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

 

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

 

 

Of course the rest is history......................

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Guest Blooz1

Very Punny!

 

 

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

 

A backward poet writes inverse.

 

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

 

Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.

 

Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

 

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.

 

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

 

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

 

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

 

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

 

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

 

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

 

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

 

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

 

What's the definition of a will? ... It's a dead giveaway.

 

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.

 

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

 

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

 

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

 

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

 

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

 

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

 

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

 

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

 

Every calendar's days are numbered.

 

A lot of money is tainted: It taint yours and it taint mine.

 

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

 

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

 

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

 

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

 

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

 

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

 

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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God looks down over the Garden of Eden and is pleased. He notices Adam sitting alone under a tree.

 

God asks, "Adam, where's Eve?"

 

Adam replies, "Down at the stream taking a swim."

 

Got thinks to himself, "I'll never get that smell off of the fish!"

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Rectum Deodorant

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the

assistant for some rectum deodorant. The

pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the

woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never

have.

 

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist

that she has been buying the stuff from this store

on a regular basis and would like some more.

 

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't

have any"

"But I always buy it here," says the blonde

"Do you have the container that it came in?"

asks the pharmacist..

"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it

to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,

"This is just a normal stick of underarm

deodorant"

 

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container

back and reads out loud from the

container

 

 

"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM "

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Oh, that is TOO good MSMOLT!!! ROFL!!

 

Here's a joke of my own experience speaking of deodorant sticks.

 

One day whilst out at a client, in Philly, I went to the bathroom and in there, noticed a Brut Stick (underarm deodorant), almost completely used and worn down, with just nothing but the little nub left in it, with the cap off sitting on the sink.

 

I came out of the bathroom and asked the bookkeeper, Rita, what that Brut stick was doing on the sink?

 

 

She laughed and said that Nicholas, the owner, was so cheap, and that he doesn't waste anything, and that he was using it as a ROOM DEODORIZER!!!

 

I couldn't believe it! I laughed so hard, and I'll never forget that! LOL!

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