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Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?"

They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares: "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!", says Murphy's wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Gallagher

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The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city

governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

 

You and me

 

And there you are,

 

sitting on your a$$,

 

at your computer, reading jokes.

 

Nice. Real nice

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The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

 

etc.

 

This was posted just a few days ago:

 

http://www.diy-street.com/forum/showpost.p...&postcount=1345

 

I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I'm just using this instance as an example to suggest that, since this thread has gotten so large, it might be a good idea for people to do a quick search before posting a joke to avoid posting a duplicate.

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:D

 

KFC? Why do I not recognize KFC? Is it really so easy that it's Kentucky? I feel like I didn't know something that I should there. Otherwise I was ******* appalled at the whole video. "Yassar Arafat is their president. Everyone knows that."

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