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cpuz

good JOKE for ya...

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pick up lines ;)

 

 

 

You make my software turn to hardware!

 

 

 

 

They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

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Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day.

 

Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend or group of friends, just as I've done.

 

I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals, vote Republican, liberal or occasionally crap yourself.......

 

You hang in there sunshine, you're freakin' special...:P:D

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The other day at the tickle me elmo factory a man went into the manager's office and complained about a woman outside. "She's holding up the line," he says. "I don't know what we're going to do. We'll never get this done. You have to do something!"

 

So the manager gets up and walks outside where he finds the woman with red cloth and a bag of marbles. She was wrapping the marbles in the cloth and then sewing them on the tickle me elmos. The manager burst out laughing

 

He says. "I'm sorry mam. I think you misunderstood my instructions... I told you to give them a couple of "test tickles"

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^^Nice :)

 

 

How do you fix a womans watch?

 

You dont theres a clock on the stove

 

 

 

 

 

 

How many waitress' does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

 

3! 2 to b**ch about it and 1 to go get the manager.

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How many waitress' does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

 

3! 2 to b**ch about it and 1 to go get the manager.

Sooo true I was a bus boy for about a year and that's all I heard for 5 hours every Saturday and Sunday!

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Guest LithoTech

How many efficiency experts does it take to change in a light bulb?

 

None, efficiency experts only change dark bulbs.

 

************

 

Two blondes walk into a building.

 

One says to the other, "Odd, you think we would have seen that. Is your nose ok? It's bleeding..."

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A farmhand, out checking fences, radioed his boss. "Boss, I got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he got stuck in my truck's bull-bars. He's still wriggling! What should I do?"

 

"There's a shotgun in the back of the truck. Shoot him in the head and when he stops wriggling, pull him out and throw him off the side of the road."

 

"Okay."

 

Ten minutes later, he called back. "Boss, I did what you said. I shot that pig, got him off my truck, and threw him in the weeds, but..."

 

"But what?"

 

"What should I do with his motorcycle?"

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A farmhand, out checking fences, radioed his boss. "Boss, I got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he got stuck in my truck's bull-bars. He's still wriggling! What should I do?"

 

"There's a shotgun in the back of the truck. Shoot him in the head and when he stops wriggling, pull him out and throw him off the side of the road."

 

"Okay."

 

Ten minutes later, he called back. "Boss, I did what you said. I shot that pig, got him off my truck, and threw him in the weeds, but..."

 

"But what?"

 

"What should I do with his motorcycle?"

 

That's the funniest thing I've heard all week. :D

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Just saw this on myspace:

 

Read Bulletin

From: jenny [jagged-edge]'s computer is broken™

 

Date: Oct 24, 2006 8:38 PM

Subject YIPPEEEE!

Body: my computer is fixed.

 

but the ironic part is that it was never broken.

 

 

im just stupid and didnt plug it in.

 

:D

 

 

 

(sorry Jenny <3 lol)

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Living Will: last night, the wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her. " I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependant on some machine and fluids from some bottle. If that ever happens just pull the plug" So she got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer..

She's such a biatch!!!

 

Hey ya know my grandmother she started jogging at 80 years old, she 90 years old and we don't know where the heck she is!!!!!get it run forrest run!!!

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