good JOKE for ya...

[Branjo]

Man thats a god damned dinosaur!!

[Anospa]

We have that picture in the office here at work, don't really know why, but that thing is humongous!

[ReelFiles]

Here's some info on the Alligator in the water, as well as the dead one;

 

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/gatordeer.asp

 

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/wcgator.asp

[ReelFiles]

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/gatordeer.asp

These photographs of an alligator swimming across a lake with a deer clutched in its jaws circulated on the Internet in mid-2004, accompanied by several different versions of text crediting them to different sources:

 

* A photographer flying over Cross Lake (or Lake Conroe) in a news helicopter belonging to TV station KTBS of Shreveport, Louisiana.

 

* An "Alabama Forest Service guy on daily fire patrol" at Lake Martin, Alabama.

 

* An employee of the Texas Forestry Commission took the photograph while flying in a helicopter with the South Carolina Forestry Commission.

 

* A worker at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

 

The first explanation was out, as KTBS said they haven't had a newscopter since their chopper crashed in 1990, and Leslie Johnson with the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries noted that the vegetation was all wrong and the water too clear to be Cross Lake. And officials with the Alabama Forestry Commission disclaimed the Lake Martin explanation:

Although the caption indicates that the alligator is in Lake Martin, officials at the Alabama Forestry Commission said that's not true.

 

"It's a legitimate photo, but it wasn't taken on Lake Martin," said Regina Miller, assistant to the state forestry commissioner. "It was taken in South Carolina, and I suppose someone thought it would be more interesting here if it was on Lake Martin, Alabama."

 

Jim Spradley, the pilot for the Tallapoosa County office of the state's forestry commission, said he too received the e-mail, but he was never fooled by the photo.

 

"I've got that e-mail myself, and as far as I know, I'm the only one who flies Lake Martin," he said. "I didn't take it."

In August 2004, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service (USFWS) finally cleared up the issue by issuing a press release identifying the photographs as having been taken in south Georgia (near the Georgia/South Carolina border) by a USFWS officer in March 2004:

The sight of a 12 to 14 foot-long alligator is something south Georgia folks see occasionally, but few have seen one take an adult deer out to lunch. Actually — for lunch.

 

The photographs of this deer-eating alligator were taken from the air by Terri Jenkins, a U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service District Fire Management Officer. She was preparing to ignite a prescribed fire at Harris Neck National Wildlife Refuge, about 40 miles south of Savannah, Georgia, on March 4, 2004.

 

"One advantage of fire work is you get to see that 12-14 footers are common from Santee National Wildlife Refuge in South Carolina to Coastal South Carolina to Georgia’s coast," said Jenkins. "It looks like the alligator population is doing extremely well."

 

This one was at least 12-13 feet long. Jenkins said that some bull alligators have a 35 inch girth.

 

 

 

 

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/wcgator.asp

The startling picture was taken by Val Horvath, a photographer then working for The Facts, a newspaper in Clute, Texas.

 

The American alligator is commonly found throughout the southern U.S., including the eastern third of Texas, generally in and around fresh-water sources such as swamps, rivers, bayous, and marshes. They typically range in size from 6 to 14 feet in length, so a 13-ft. gator would certainly be a large specimen, but not an extraordinarily-sized one.

 

This image is another example of how positioning can exaggerate the apparent size of objects in photographs. The alligator is in the foreground of the picture, with its head turned towards the camera, while a game warden strolls in the background, making the reptile (particularly its head) seem proportionally larger than it really is.

[Kandoo]

you just take all the fun out of everything !!!

[n1ce_hat]

 

Rudolph!!! NOOOOO....!

[General Septem]

lmao Rudolph

[Kandoo]

The new supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the

produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder

and the smell of fresh rain.

 

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent

of fresh hay.

 

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is

filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

 

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

 

 

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

[red930]

A Doctor was addressing a large audience. "The material we put

into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here,

years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach

lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be

disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by

the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the

most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone

here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and

suffering for years after eating it?"

 

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row

raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

[red930]

Pastor Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an> exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just> had to play golf.

 

So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and

persuaded him to give the sermon for him that day.

 

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Pastor Norton headedout of town to a golf course about forty miles away.

 

This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his church. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all,it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

 

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to

let him get away with this, are you?"

 

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."

Just then Pastor Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the

hole.

 

IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

 

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

 

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"

[red930]

Not Only Humans Stutter!

 

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.

 

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.

 

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

 

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!

 

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

 

"It sure was", said the little girl.

 

"My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "F***," the rottweiler ate him!"

[ReelFiles]

LOL, that's some funny sh!t.