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cpuz

good JOKE for ya...

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Can't believe his finger is actually on the trigger... if you ever shot a real gun, you'd know how sensitive they are. Hence the safety rule; Don't place your finger on the trigger unless you are locked on the target.

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I don't think we have to worry about him breeding much longer.

 

Here's another.

 

cid__2_0485910004858EAC0060D36D0725.jpg

 

That actually looks somewhat stylish. :D

 

One more redneck bash: Look closely, it's not a good pic

 

 

cid__2_0485A9EC04858EAC0060D36D0725.jpg

 

lol, he's wearing an ATF hat too XD

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>> Divorce, custody, and Pepsi Cola

 

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the

custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet

and

protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this

world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of

his

children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.

 

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied:

"Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Pepsi comes

out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"

 

Don't laugh, he won!

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A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking

up behind her he says, "Hi there, good lookin'. How's it going?"

 

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on,

dirty, clean ... It just doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-butt love it."

 

Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "WOW!!! What a coincidence...

I'm a lawyer too."

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:D

 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which

souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will

increase until all Hell breaks loose.

 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of

souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell

freezes over.

 

totalmdr2.gif

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Here's a really good one.

 

Dear Scott [whateveryournameis],

 

On behalf of the Graduate Program in Molecular Biology, Genetics,

and Biochemistry, I would like to thank you for your interest in

graduate study at the University of California, Irvine. Our program

typically receives a large number of applications from students all

over the world, and each year we can admit only a small number of

candidates from this highly qualified group. Your application for

Fall 2007 was reviewed by our Admission Committee and received

careful consideration. Regretfully, we will not be able to offer

you admission

 

Again, thank you for your interest in our program and in UCI. I

wish you good luck in finding a suitable graduate position and

success in your future academic endeavors.

 

Andre Ouellette, Ph.D.

Professor of Pathology,

Admissions Director, Graduate Program in Molecular Biology,

Genetics and Biochemistry

 

Thanks guys... could have at least done it on paper.

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Kind of reminds me of my Moms side of the family.

 

Here's another for today..

 

 

 

26 reasons why a man should have a dog and not a wife:

 

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

 

2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

 

3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

 

4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

 

5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

 

6. A dog's parents never visit.

 

7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

 

8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

 

9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

 

10. Dogs seldom outlive you.

 

11. Dogs can't talk.

 

12. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

 

13. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

 

14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

 

15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

 

16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

 

17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

 

18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

 

19. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

 

20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

 

21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.

 

22. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

 

23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.

 

24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.

 

25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus.

 

And, last but not least:

 

26. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

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