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cpuz

good JOKE for ya...

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A country doctor is suturing a laceration on the hand of an old farmer.

 

Old man: "All you need to know about politics is that young George Bush is a post turtle."

 

Doctor: "Oh? What is a post turtle?"

 

Old man: "When yer driving down a country road, and ya come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? That's a post turtle. Ya know he didn't get there by himself, he don't belong there, he cain't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help take the poor thang down."

 

HAHA..i'll be stealing that one today at work lol

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HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

 

The following is an actual question given on a University of

Washington chemistry mid-term.

 

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor

shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we

now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

 

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or

endothermic (absorbs heat)?

 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's

Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some

variant.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the

rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that

once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are

entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the

world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member

of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of

these religions and since people do not belong to more than one

religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death

rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase

exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell

because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and

pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand

proportionately as souls are added.

 

This gives two possibilities:

 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which

souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will

increase until all Hell breaks loose.

 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of

souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell

freezes over.

 

So which is it?

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my

Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with

you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,

then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic

and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since

Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls

and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the

existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept

shouting "Oh my God."

 

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

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.........wow........I'm speechless if that person was for real. I hope there is nobody on earth that friggin stupid. And even worse if he is producing offspring lol

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