Guest nytmare Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 To whome it may concern...... Since I was 8 and my family got our first computer, the PC has become more and more a part of my life. For some us, it has become too much of our life. That is what this "letter to everyone" is all about. When we got our first computer I didn't spend much time on it but by the time I was 10, I started gaming quit a bit on it. Thats how it all started, with gaming. Occasionally a game wouldn't work and I would research why it didn't work. I started learning a fair amount about the pc and its inner workings by troubleshooting. Then when I was roughly 11 we got our first modern PC running windows 95. Then when I was 12 I got MY first computer. When I was 14 I got my first laptop and soon after at the age of 16 I, with the help of my friend Richard, built my first custom computer from parts bought online. My PC has only really become a problem since end-sophomore/beginning-junior year high school. It was during this time that my knowledge of computers also grew the most. During this time period I started getting a whole new set of friends. I didn't abandon my old friends, I merely took on more. These new friends were all very much like me, interested in computer technology and very computer literate. We talked everyday about computers and computer games. We all spent most of our free-time in front of PCs playing games or learning whatever about the latest computer technology. With them sharing so many of my interests I found myself spending more time with them than my "older" friends. Like I already said, end-sophomore/beginning-junior year high school is when my PC started becoming a problem. I would game so long or be on forums/news sites so long that I would not do homework or fake doing homework just to cover for the time. My grades dropped to an all time low with my GPA in the LOW 2s. My parents saw that my grades were dropping and I lied that I wasn't learning the material as an excuse. I started getting so involved in faking it that our "family doctor" said I had ADD. This lie/dropping grades continued all the way through junior year. Things didn't improve much my senior year. The last 4 months of senior year I was informed that at the rate I was sliding I could fail most of my classes and not qualify for the College I had had my eyes on for quiet a while. Then I put the petal to the medal and got things done finishing high school with a 3.2 GPA to the pleasure of my parents and myself. Over that summer things slipped back into the normal routine with me spending obscene amounts of time on my PC gaming and surfing. Then college hit .... and now I can honestly say, my PC addiction has simply gone too far. I would lie to family and friends about having lots of homework to cover for my PC time. I would spend 8 hours writing a 1 page assignment because I would spend 7.5 hours of that time reading websites or, more often than not, gaming. My grades have been slipping like mad and chances are that I am going to fail all of my classes this semester, my first semester in college. If that wasn't bad enough, I'm not the one paying for college, my parents are. If it was me wasting my money, I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I am wasting my parents money and thats totally unacceptable. They worked hard to get me this far in life and this is how I repay them? Example : Lately I think I have turned in 1 actually done assignemnt out of roughly 30. I am way behind in my homework in all my classes and have multiple projects due in the next couple of days which I haven't started. So..... Have I gained anything from all my years of addiction? Yes I have. I have become a much better computer gamer finally equal to many of my semi-pro friends. My knowledge about the computer and its inner workings are incredible. I know every component backwards and forwards. I can easily dissassemble and reassemble computer in a few hours. This has come in handy when I was a PC repair guy or when my teacher/professer in class X needed my help for something computer related. So now that you know what is wrong, what are you going to do about it? Well, I have thought long and hard about this. I need to use my PC because just about everything nowadays needs to be done on my PC (99% of my assignments have to be typed) so I cant just get rid of it. The school computers are out of the question in terms of availablility in number and time-of-day. What I will do is completly un-hook my room from the internet. The only PCs with internet access in my house will be my parent's PCs. Occasionally I will need to use their PCs to look something up online or buy/register for whatever. I will uninstall all my games with no future plans at this time to install them again. I will not go back to any of the forums I was or am an active member at (pcper.com , razer.tigga.com , dfi-street.com , halflife2.net , etc.) and also won't be going to any new ones anytime soon either. My plans on getting a new PC have been dropped. Completely. The only reason I was gonna get a new PC was to keep up with the most current games. As for the PC iteself, I will either (a) buy a LCD and a soundcard and thats it or (B) sell the PC and buy, with my own money, a new small (portable) laptop with a crappy graphics card so that all I can do on it is office style stuff although I would buy an external audigy for it so that I can still use my Klipsch speakers. I will also be getting rid of my website which also gobbled up its fair amount of time and electricity having the laptop on 24/7. I will reformat my current PC and only install work related stuff (office, Photoshop, .NET studio, etc.) only. You know this won't work right? Well, even if it works partially it will have succeeded. The hardest part will definitely be staying away from the forums. You guys are great and are always fun to talk with here on the forums/web. Games will be hard too, but not nearly as hard. I am a friend/relative anything I should know in particular??? Please don't forward this to my parents, I will be confronting them with this decision in my own way and don't want this letter to mess it up. Where did you get this idea?? Some of my "newer" friends have felt the same way about their addictions and tried to do things somewhat similar but have failed. Within 1-2 months they are usually right back in here gaming and chatting just like I am now. I have decided that my social life and personal life has been hurt enough. I am on the fast track to total failure in life and refuse to go down that road. What are you going to do in your new free time? I dunno.... maybe get outside more, enjoy the paradise that Southern California really is in comparison to the rest of the world. I used to mountain bike, bodyboard (not body surf, bodyboarding = boogie board) a lot and now I don't even get outside most days. I already have a job so maybe I can focus more on that, maybe move up some. Most importantly of all I will throw myself on my schoolwork. Maybe once I actually focus on it, I will be able to get it done in a reasonable amount of time. I know I can be a good student, I was at one point in my life, and now I want to one again. Some of you may be thinking that I am on a pity trip or that I am taking this wayyy to seriously. To all of you, I have to say that you simply cannot understand how much the PC was a part of my life. Every penny and minute that I could for the past few years, went to my PC. At this moment in life my PC IS MY LIFE. To all of you in the forums reading this, you all have been great. You have helped in some shape or form make me the person I am today. Thanks to the razer forums for all the knowledge about mice, thanks to pcper's TLR I have started to rethink how I feel on the issues, thanks to dfi-street I have learned that all big companies aren't impersonal, thanks to halflife2 I have learned that *shock* there are people nerdier than me. Either way, its been quiet an adventure. So this is it ladies & gentlemen, with a tear in my eye, I bid you.......... goodbye. ~andrew Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexia Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 I know exactly what you mean. I'm a lost cause. Good luck! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
THunDA Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Yea I admit it.. does seem to take over at times.. Your doing the right thing .. Im sure it wont be easy but good luck with everything Andrew.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
platdragon Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Know were you coming from Andrew. I had to reorg my life when I got Married. Still get into troubler with the wife for being on the rig playing games. I let my boys on to do research for school projects and thats it for now. About ready to put up the XBox and PS2 some of the grades are slipping. :mad: :eek2: Bust of Luck and hope to chat with you again after you get out of school. :nod: :angel: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 I also can understand where you are at Andrew. I didn't really do the whole gaming thing until i met Angry, but i find myself in your situation sometimes. I am doing really well in college and manage to get in some game time. Keep your head up and get through school. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry_Games Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 ah...the addiction...I think we have all been there at some point...I spent so much time on computers before that it has ended/ruined relationships. it is an addiction, just like any drug. get yer school done. If you give up the computer for a month (I mean completely, only use your parent's pc for homework and nothing else...no computers at all), you will find out there is more to life than computers. remember FAmily Guy? When Peter drove into the satellite transmitter? The whole town was without tv/cable and had to go outside *gasp* and they all found lots of things to do! we found ourselves getting to that point...then we found hockey and bought season tickets (so we have to leave the house a minimum of 36 times per year!). We also attended Boise State football (ranked #9 in the country?). we are planning on learning to ice skate to play co-ed hockey, which will remove us from the house 3 more times during the week. my point is...get all of your school stuff done first...thats most important *yes dad...* and then find something non-computer to do. and remember that anything can be addicting...so giving up comps to spend the next two years basket weaving (and lying to parents/friends about where all your time is going heh) isn't good. but giving up your addiction for a while cold turkey will make you realize that theres such a thing as too excessive. And it will help you regulate your computer use. or it wont if the addiction is too strong. Its all mental and yer a smart dude so I think you strong enough mentally to bust a supa kungfu move on any addiction Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wetchaser Posted December 4, 2004 Posted December 4, 2004 I certainly dont have the mad computer skills that haunt this forum, but can most certainly understand this post 100% I got my first pc from a fire restoration job just after i got married. It sucked beans, and when playing links, it took at least a minute for the ball to hit the ground. So i bought a peckerd bull 166 mhz. Now i could play battletech, and air warrior on aol 1.0. Woohoo! Thru all the games, i would have to say the papyrus nascar series became my favorite, and ate 7 yrs of my life rather quickly. Then ram cheat came to town, and im to competetive to lose to newb with tires that dont wear out. Americas Army is my fix now, and im getting closer everyday to maxing out on honar in that game, and swear im gonna sell my account on e-bay when i do. (i also swore id sell it at 80, but im now at 83) Will i ever stop. I doubt it. There are much worse thing imo to be addicted to, and since im always home, i am watching my kids grow more then most men do. I was an avid hunter, but after i got my first deer, i didnt feel so avid about it anymore. Quit hunting the very next season while sitting in tree stand on the wensday of firearms week. Im 40 yrs old, and bust my butt everyday at work. When i get home, i just dont have the strength to do much else. My back is shot, and i get great enjoyment from my gaming. My wife is cool with it, so i guess im happy. But outside that door is a big ol game i miss somtimes..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victim Posted December 4, 2004 Posted December 4, 2004 I never had a computer until I was well into my 20s but I can definitely understand where you're coming from. You've got the smarts to beat this so I reckon you'll be fine. I'd wish you luck but you won't be reading this anyway...will you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rangerdave Posted December 5, 2004 Posted December 5, 2004 Originally posted by Victim I never had a computer until I was well into my 20s but I can definitely understand where you're coming from. You've got the smarts to beat this so I reckon you'll be fine. I'd wish you luck but you won't be reading this anyway...will you! there are no smarts in beating an addiction, some of its education, willpower and the fact of admiting"there is a ptoblem" ive been there still here with the pc, but been there with other issus Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest culinist Posted December 5, 2004 Posted December 5, 2004 Good Luck."nytmare", Andrew. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
whymeintrouble Posted December 5, 2004 Posted December 5, 2004 best of luck to you. we all have to give priority to what is most important in our lives. for you, it seems college is definitely that. When you get older you'll realize there is a happy medium in there somewhere, finding it is always the tough part. I've went through it the last year or so. I love to be with all the people around the forums. I work two jobs, one retail p/t, the other construction 50 plus hours a week. It isn't always easy for us to do what we have to do, but we do it anyhow. best of luck to you Andrew, and when you are ready, I hope to see you playing HL5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victim Posted December 6, 2004 Posted December 6, 2004 Originally posted by rangerdave there are no smarts in beating an addiction, some of its education, willpower and the fact of admiting"there is a ptoblem" ive been there still here with the pc, but been there with other issus Maybe I should have explained myself better. Everything you said above was intended to be covered by my choice of the word: 'smarts'. He has accepted that he has a problem, he's trying to further his education, he has the willpower to change his habit and by posting such an open and forthcoming 'Good-bye' I believe that he's going to make a damned good attempt at beating it - all equals 'smarts' to me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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