nan0click Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Old, but still funny: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having . tonight either....but at least that ###### knows I'm smarter than her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
road-runner Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kamikaze_Badger Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 That is BRILLIANT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingdingeling Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrewr05 Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 L Omotha frickingL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCC10281982B Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 haha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
philbrown23 Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 I'm so gonna do that :bah: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow47 Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Hmmmm... I'll have to remember that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fire_storm Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kash Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Old, but still absolutely genius!! :thumbs-up: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
UkJenT Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 kudos, haha... Just brilliant. I'm simply amazed. haha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
oblivescence Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 yep, got to remember this one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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