asus Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Here it is, how does it sound to you? Any glaring errors.. i really did a good proof read on this.. let me know if you find any mistakes.. thanks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire-Medic Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Wanna post it in txt format for me? I dont have the ability to read .doc right now Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
94Camaro Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I made a couple little revisions in red for ya. Pretty good paper overall I thought. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
slugbug3311 Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Well so far the first paragraph has "their" when it should be "there". Ill edit this if I find more errors. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
asus Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 cool.. thanks for the replys so far.. here is the doc in txt format as requested Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
slugbug3311 Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 What grade are you in Asus? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
asus Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 im in english 101 in college... ya.. i know.. i have my errors.. the sad part is.. this paper was proofed by a professional english tooter lol.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
slugbug3311 Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Well if your in college and your gonna turn that paper in I suggest you keep going. Every one of your paragraphs could be extended, you should have a thesis at the end of your intro paragraph and the topic sentence of each body paragraph should tie directly in with the thesis and you should have two concrete details for each body paragraph with 1-2 sentences of commentary each explaining them. I know im sounding like a teacher but if you want that paper to be looked at by a college professor I think you should add to it and organize it better. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
asus Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 well.. i do have a thesis statement As savvy as many Americans have become with technology, there are still many people left in the dark. this is an essay of examples.. but i will look at the orginization of it.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
savethedodobird Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 There are a few spelling mistakes, (sorrounded, botheird). also The sylistic rule at my school is 12pt times new roman font, and one inch margins. Im not sure the guidelines at your school but teachers are usually impressed by a formal looking paper. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
asus Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 comic sans makes it look longer.. lol.. not a good reason for using it lol.. but he does ask us to make it bigger because he has trouble seeing the small font Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
slugbug3311 Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 well.. i do have a thesis statement As savvy as many Americans have become with technology, there are still many people left in the dark. this is an essay of examples.. but i will look at the orginization of it.. 573914[/snapback] Thesis needs to be more specific, and include ideas for 4 body paragraphs because thats the number you have. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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