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Sheltered From Tech Essay Is Finally Done


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Here it is, how does it sound to you? Any glaring errors.. i really did a good proof read on this.. let me know if you find any mistakes.. thanks ;)

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Well if your in college and your gonna turn that paper in I suggest you keep going. Every one of your paragraphs could be extended, you should have a thesis at the end of your intro paragraph and the topic sentence of each body paragraph should tie directly in with the thesis and you should have two concrete details for each body paragraph with 1-2 sentences of commentary each explaining them. I know im sounding like a teacher but if you want that paper to be looked at by a college professor I think you should add to it and organize it better.

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well.. i do have a thesis statement

 

As savvy as many Americans have become with technology, there are still many people left in the dark.

 

this is an essay of examples.. but i will look at the orginization of it..

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There are a few spelling mistakes, (sorrounded, botheird).

also

The sylistic rule at my school is 12pt times new roman font, and one inch margins. Im not sure the guidelines at your school but teachers are usually impressed by a formal looking paper.

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well.. i do have a thesis statement

 

As savvy as many Americans have become with technology, there are still many people left in the dark.

 

this is an essay of examples.. but i will look at the orginization of it..

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Thesis needs to be more specific, and include ideas for 4 body paragraphs because thats the number you have.

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