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bigred

Stupid Cat

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I swear this cat is the spawn of satan or something. we got him for my daugher so she'd stop whining about a kitten (and calling the iguanas cats). I have never liked cats, especially not this one. he's always been the lowest on the pecking order around here... below the shitsus, below the rots, below the iguanas, and below people. however he seems to have an issue with this. and it's been worse since there have been no dogs and very few humans to lay into him for the last 6 weeks (lazy iguanas missed thier chance to beat him into oblivion). I've been home a few days and already he's drawn blood on me 4 times. mostly play biting, but he's worse than normal. he sits outside a door, usually the bedroom, my office, or the bathroom. he lays on his back with his paws up in the air... the moment I step over him BOOM he's attached to my foot. claws dug into flesh if possible. he's been launched down the hall after doing this a few times. and hes' also managed to make me trip and fall (not good trying to free him from my good leg while blancing on my bad one). he also likes to hide under the bed, couch or chairs and wait... you sit down and put a foot infront of him, and he's done it again.

 

both my wife and daugher won't let me give him away, lock him outside, shoot him, feed him to the dogs or run him over with a car... or tie him up with A1 on him and leave him for a hawk :)

 

WTF am I supposed to do with this idiot animal? I've always hated him, but never like this... heck the shitsus are even off the list of critters I want to just punt every time I see them becasuse of him!

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When it grabs onto your leg, just "accidently" step on it. If anyone asks, tell them you couldn't see the cat and your leg happened to crush its ribcage.......

 

I know how you feel. My cat had a tendency to grab onto legs as people walked by. He also used to love play biting, which often drew blood. I took some drastic measures, and let's just say that I'm the only person he doesn't bite or grab onto..... B:)

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"WHOOPS oh man sorry I didnt see the cat there , He came out of nowhere, i thought it was a Monster, so I had to shoot it" trust me it seems alot bigger when they jump out at you :-P

 

this is why I like dogs more than cats, cats are just @ssholes

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Just take it for a test drive in your new Dodge, and "accidently" leave it 20 miles from the house - oh ya, don't let anyone see you take it.

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Usually when I my cat does stuff like this it means one of three things.

 

a. feed me (The VAST majority of the time)

b. pet me

c. I want out NOW.

 

If she (the cat) goes over the top with this she gets thrown outside very quickly. Mom's solution to the biting was to bite (gently) back.

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I had one that did the exact same thing when I was growing up. I found that the cat didn't really want anything at all, he was just mean. We ended up giving him to a couple that owned a farm because he really liked to catch varments. If we weren't moving at the time, we would have kept him.

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When I had animals that acted stupid like that, they either "got lost" in the desert, acted as a bullet-catcher, or "went for a swim"

 

or, if you wanna be nice, just drop it off at the local animal shelter - they'll put it down in a week or so...

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Say you've been seeing rats and that he isn't doing anything about them. Then, lay down some poison, and mix catfood with it.

 

 

Problem solved.

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A little bit of antifreeze perhaps. If really is the spawn of satan then beat the demons out of it by repeatedly smashing it against something hard.

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