Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  

Share Your Talent!

Recommended Posts

LMAO....hmm..maybe i'll post a poem....this one will probably be part of the story i'm writing.

I actually thought that was pretty good. I do think the rhythm could do with some tweaking in some places, but thats reasonably minor and shouldn't really have an affect on the meaning.

And if you can't be mushy in poems, then where can you be?

Actually..I was focusing more on alliteration....if you look at the words..there is a pattern of sounds..two words in each line (1st and 3rd)start with the same letter..and I think every 2nd and 4rd line rhyme....and if you dont read it correctly it doesnt rhyme..lol..I usually write like that...in a pattern..but yeah..the last stanza is a bit...well...too many words....i've actually tried to work on it...anyway..it's like working a puzzle. It's fun to put it all together...Anyway, very interesting Bionix...I hope you finish it...got me interested.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Go kurosen.. stick wielding maniac!

Video was a bit dark I think, but that still looks pretty cool.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you jammin... If you listen closely you can hear the air being sliced from the speed I'm spinning the bo... and at the end of the video, it's hard to tell, but that final strike was less than an inch from my camcorder :lol:

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Aww thanks Celtica, you're making me blush... :lol: :lol: :P


You should see my full form... I almost have the flash kick down (anyone remember Guile from Street Fighter? yes real people can do it... I know a few) but I keep landing on my knees or flat on my face <_<


Maybe one day I'll post it, when I don't make an . out of myself in it ;) hehehehe...

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

My resignation is on your desk


It happened and you knew it would,

The things you'd change if you could,

The daily grind got the best of you,

The wrongs you made and always knew,


It is bittersweet and tragic now,

And still you ask yourself just how?

Push came to shove, it finally broke,

From all the words that you had spoke,


But more tragic yet, is I care not,

You made this easier that you thought,

For I walk away with no tears,

And memories of these past few years,


I have no hate, no qualms, no spite,

Parting you feels just right,

I failed you and you failed me,

Somethings are just not meant to be,


I thank you for the times we shared,

And for all that you have cared,

We had it good, but that's gone now,

Curtains close and take a bow,


If this makes you sad, I pity you,

Imagine what I've been through,

Or what I let you make me feel,

That makes this resignation real,


So pen in hand, I cross my T's and dot my I's,

Not even worth the last goodbyes,

Signing on the doted line,

Rest assured I'll be just fine,


I resign position as your friend,

For some cuts you cannot mend,

Left open so long it will not heal,

Now it's time to close the deal.


No need to get up, I know my way out,

I resigned today with no doubt,

That I am making a mistake, a error in life,

Forgetting my worries and my stife.



Mmmm... my contribution to the thread.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Very nice work, Trixie. You've got alot more talent then me when it comes to poetry, at least.







And, after some work... here is the second part of Keir's history!



During a snowy winters night, about 6 years after the events described before, while Geovanni was to be gone for several days for reasons that he did not explain, Keir and his mother were to be found working on a shed that the latter's husband had started. Narina's patience was continually being worn thin by Keir's lack of attention.


"Keir! I told you not to try to put those boards up yet!", she snapped at her son as he tried to put some boards up on a wall for Narina.


"I- I'm sorry, Mommy, I didn't hear you.", he whimpered.


"It's ok for now. Just try to listen a bit better next time.", she replied, in a soothing voice, while brushing the back-fur of her kits head. "Just try to listen a little better next time, ok?".


Keir promptly nodded his head, and helped his mother with the ceiling of the shed.



Unfortunately, though, he was soon back to not paying enough attention. When the piece of wood he had being holding up for Narina fell down due to his lack of attention, the former lost her temper altogether.


"Keir! I TOLD YOU TO PAY ATTENTION!", she shouted at him.


"Mommy, I'm s-sorry!", he said in a tearful manner, not use to seeing his mother like this.


"Then do as I tell you to next time!", she shouted.


And, acting out of pure frustration and anger, she slapped her son across the muzzle. This wasn't anything new to him, but she had never hit him this hard before. And as if the strength of the blow wasn't enough, her heart seemed to stop as she saw three growing red streaks on Keir.


"Keir... I-", she started. But she didn't get to finish before the young fox ran out of the shed, in tears. She quickly called out to him, hoping for him to come back... "Keir! Come back! I'm sorry! KEIR!".


But, it was to no avail.



Thinking that he had run into the house for some time alone, Narina simply just sat down and cried. She had never done anything like that to her son before, and had never intended to. She couldn't help but blame herself for all of it. She should of being more leniant towards the young fox... he was only six, after all.


After several minutes of self blame and tears, she walked back into the house to appologize to her son. And that was when the next massive shock of the night came to her... Keir wasn't there in the house. After searching the house, she became frantic. What had being a light snow was turning into a blizzard, and a small fox such as Keir wouldn't be able to make it more than several minutes in such harsh weather.




To be continued...




Criticism is welcome.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

i prefer the second bit! it seems better than the first bit KB. i've found that when i write stuff, it seems easier and more fluent as it progresses - if it goes on for long enough, i dont doubt that you will come back to make changes all over the place. you'll read your work so much you'll be able to recite it!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol, thanks Silver. I'll be writing out the next part of it this weekend maybe. It'll be a little something about Keir realising how much Narina cares about him. I'm getting addicted to these mushy types of writing... maybe from reading the Kayla series at YS.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Meh; I'm too lazy and tired (at the moment) to write anything creative and awesome, though I will tell you that I was told that I was the "Best writer" in our middle school. I didnt want to take honors english though, really not that important to me :lol:.


Keep up the good work mah friend badger!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • Create New...