CelticaFLM Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 Lol..no problem ...anyway...I'm not talking about spelling errors......or the way the character is suppose to talk...I'm talking about useing words incorrectly...or over useing some words. It's something I worked a lot on in grade school....just thought i'd bring it up to a fellow writer Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverfox Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 yeah varying useage of words is a good idea...its a good habit to form and using synonyms can also prove to be quite cool as it helps expand your vocabulary. gotta love a thesaurus! I agree with Celtica though: get someone else to read it to you to help with suggestions, ie, a teacher of english or someone similar. word occasionally helps, but mostly says: "fragment, consider revising" uh, yeah, sure..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelticaFLM Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 yeah varying useage of words is a good idea...its a good habit to form and using synonyms can also prove to be quite cool as it helps expand your vocabulary. gotta love a thesaurus! I agree with Celtica though: get someone else to read it to you to help with suggestions, ie, a teacher of english or someone similar. word occasionally helps, but mostly says: "fragment, consider revising" uh, yeah, sure..... Yeah no kidding..not very helpful...yep the thesaurus is your best friend....gotta have one Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverfox Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 but don't settle for a small one - get an overly large one - you wont regret it, believe me....! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelticaFLM Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 Also...and i'll shut up after this lol cause I could go on all day.....if you want to maybe dabble with some poetry....a rhyming dictionary is the best thing since sliced bread Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverfox Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 pff, at least you HAVE the day to go on with.... *looks at the 2-10am clock...* now, i'll shut up because i run the risk of a backwards QWERTY on my face... poetry (in my opinion) is often quite tough: if you can do it, hats off to you fine sir! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurosen Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 I thought this thread was to show off more than just writing skills... I have a small sampler video of a private practice session showing part of my bo form that I was preparing for NASKA if it qualifies Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverfox Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 good point....i'm excited again! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelticaFLM Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 pff, at least you HAVE the day to go on with.... *looks at the 2-10am clock...* now, i'll shut up because i run the risk of a backwards QWERTY on my face... poetry (in my opinion) is often quite tough: if you can do it, hats off to you fine sir! LMAO....hmm..maybe i'll post a poem....this one will probably be part of the story i'm writing. A Vision In a giant labyrinth of lush rose bushes with moonlight glistening on droplets of dew through the tangles of twisted thorns I saw a vision of you As I walked the weathered path through the twists and turns of this maze I was looking and longing for you my love For a countless number of days My legs grew weak and weary and I feared I could not carry on heavy with helplessness my heart did sink Until I glimpsed the approaching of dawn In the mists of morning fog through a wall of wretched thorned roses I did see the strength and stamina in your thorn-kissed hands as you cleared a path to save me Yes it's a love poem...prolly a lil too mushy for you guys And actually poetry is the easiest to write....there are all kinds of poetry...some doesnt have to rhyme..there's free form...doesnt have to make sense...just relay a feeling..if you look at Emily Dickensen...her poems were really short...but said so much...and she didnt use punctuation in most of them ...she used "....." a lot. Bah, I digress...get some sleep silverfox Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurosen Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 I don't wanna show it unless others are interested as well... It's only 30 seconds long and doesn't show any punches or kicks, just my bo spinning technique (I don't have enough space in my home gym to perform the full form)... The quality is dirt (pos digi-camcorder) but you can see the "action" pretty well. Anyone else interested in seeing this... I also gotta find a place to host this 1.2 MB file... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bionix Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 I was bored and wrote this last year...... This is only half of it, the other half is hand written and lost somewhere in my room. It's set in WW2... It was a bitter cold day, so cold that my breath pauses in the air as if frozen. My fingers were numb, god knows how they expect me to fight in this weather, without food and supplies. Hell, I cant even move my index finger, let alone squeeze my frozen trigger. Every night, the germans have been layin it on us with their 88mm's. As far as I can see, the trees are severed in half as if a giant mower had run over us. From my platoon alone, 13 wounded, 2 dead. Thats not the way a soldier imagines dying, not by enemy artillery, miles away. A soldier wants his death to be in battle, for glory, for justice and most of all for honor. Every day since I joined the airborn an empty space in my head has been waiting to be filled. A constant thought, sometimes a feeling that chills me right down to my bones; a voice saying "This is my day to die". I'll never be able to erase the haunting image of my staff sargeant being torn apart by shrapnel. The part that gets to me is the look that was streaming accross his face. It was a look of despair and uncertanty. The look of a man who knows that the reality of war has caught up to him and that that constant gut feeling of death will soon be coming true. He didnt die right away. I sat in my foxhole and heard his last plee. His trembeling voice let out a hint of weakness, something I thought never existed in that man. The snow above my foxhole turned a magnificant dark red as blood exited the Sarg's body and into the earth. Every attempt I made to steal a look at him was foiled by exploding trees sending splinters into my face. Nonetheless, I knew what was happening. That was yesterday and already, a lifetime of events between then and now have made it seem like it happened years ago. I dont like sitting here, passing the day by digging deeper foxholes and fortifying the sides. It all seems so worthless in my mind. The way I figure, there is an unknown number of germans in town, not 5 miles away. Yet here we are, waiting in the woods, having our bodies and souls mortified by the german artillery and by our own low moral. Some have been killed, most are alive but either way, we are all dying. A man who is already dead has nothing to fear. This is why, I want to attack. Now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammin Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 LMAO....hmm..maybe i'll post a poem....this one will probably be part of the story i'm writing. I actually thought that was pretty good. I do think the rhythm could do with some tweaking in some places, but thats reasonably minor and shouldn't really have an affect on the meaning. And if you can't be mushy in poems, then where can you be? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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