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I'll give it a go now and see if I'm completely wrong.

 

Im guessing you worked for 25 years and the currently the east cost regional warehouse manager for cocacola. That or you are the District warehouse manager.

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The Coca-Cola Polar Bear,.. attachicon.gifWorld-of-Coke-Bear.jpg

Been accused of that! 

 

Pffft, he's clearly Captain Coca-Cola, Protector of the Empire and Defender of the US Realm.

Of course! 

 

Oh Hell Yeah! 

 

23 years

 

You started off as a janitor but was to be layed off in 1998. You luckily slipped through the cracks on a book keeping error so your paycheck still arrives. Your previous boss was also layed off so nobody even knows you aren't supposed to be employed there. Since 1998 you have just drift aimlessly from area to area with a clipboard in one hand and a bottle of coke in the other. You've developed a mean twitch and a sketchy demeanor from all the caffeine and sugar so nobody talks to you, which has helped greatly to you not being discovered. In 2001 a hideously large and smelly accountant named Bobbette discovered the mistake and instead of bringing it to her boss she's now used it during the last 15 years as leverage against you. Rumor has it you massage her smelly feet and hand scrub her over sized cotton bottoms.

 

I about choked on my drink. 

 

Well the actual years of service are bracketed pretty well.

 

Clue #2: I dont stock shelves or deliver drinks. 

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23 years, team leader managing a bunch of monkeys that are supposed to be stocking restaurants / servicing fountains.  The monkeys revolt monthly and test your sanity and patience.

 

But this week, your patience has run out.

 

Beware, the Cokeinator.

 

cokinator.jpg

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