Boinker Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 Hey guys. I know this is a Hotter topic But lets Take it down a notch. Everyone please JUST step away from this one for a night and let it ride. Regards, Boinker OCC Mod Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccokeman Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 Spanking = OK Abusive beating = Not OK Chores = OK Shooting a laptop I bought for my kid that uses it to disparage me publicly because I expect him/her to follow the rules = Priceless Guess I'll just put it out here - if you're my child and I'm putting a roof over your head, feeding you, paying your health care insurance (and possibly car insurance) buying your class ring, yearbook, paying for your braces, putting money back for your college education (and the list could go on and on) - I don't owe you a compromise solution. I have rules and expectations and it is your responsibility to follow and adhere to them. If you don't there aren't any compromises. Parenting is not a democracy. When your parent gives you a chore, that's more than just getting work done to help around the house or farm - that's teaching you how to work and the value of doing a job and doing a job right. When your parent tells you to do something, most of the time there is a reason for the request - when you do as your parents ask you learn how to follow directions and take direction - something that will come in very valuable when you become an adult and try to hold down a job When your parent tells you not to do something - most of the time it's because it's for your own good When your parent expects you to be polite and do as your told that is teaching you how to be respectful of those that God has put in authority over your life When your parent disciplines you for miss-behaving or not doing as your asked that's teaching you there are consequences for not following rules Our society is literally at the edge of collapse because kids no longer learn at an early age that there is right and wrong. There is (or at least should be) authority in their lives. Many are disrespectful, antagonistic, selfish little brats with an entitlement attitude. Parents can't spank for fear of reprisal, they've taken the paddle out of the classroom, many schools don't even recite the Pledge of Allegiance at the beginning of the day anymore. Heck, you can't even say a public prayer before a darn football game. Sad, sad, sad. What has happened over the past several generations starting with the WWII Baby boomers children is that the generation that followed slipped up. Children no longer respect their elders and feel they are the ones in charge. There are no consequences for actions anymore bacuse parent who do disipline their children are reported for abuse. A time out in a corner is soooooooo persuasive at changing behavior. When CPS is called because someone is spanked in public means there are to many people that raise children that just do not have a clue. If I discipline my child there is a reason and it is not for you (the public) to tell me how to do it. When my child was 5 he was being disrespectful and generally just acting out. I gave him a choice of punishments, Spanking or losing his radio..........He chose the spanking over losing the radio.........He got both the spanking and lost the radio for making a bad decision. Consequences for his actions that he remembers to this day. As of now he is 21 and still is an a$$ at times but I have to say he has never been in trouble and works hard to make a living for himself. He follows the rules and understands that there are consequences for his actions. He did not get the time out BS, he got a spanking when he misbehaved, he learned the value of hard work and responsibility by doing chores such as mowing the yard taking out the trash, cleaning up after himself (well most of the time) and generally doing what was asked of him. Because he was spanked does it mean I love him any less than the tree huggers who want to negotiate peace with their children? Nope it does not. Negotiation with a child is not how it works. I provide the means for your survival, food , shelter, clothing and whatever is needed for your quality of life. For those things that you would surely die without starting at a very young tender age all I ask is respect and an open mind to absorb the things I am going to teach you. Stray from that path and there will be consequences. If I found out he disparaged me in public I would have done the same thing to the laptop had that been the avenue he chose for his venom. If all of the parents who want to negotiate with children are so correct why is there a Super Nanny show that showcases how the flower power children screwed it up................... woo woo woo, I don't agree with you. I just think he's a lazy, over-dramatic, asshat. He probably should have talked to her before shooting the laptop. I mean come on, why start out shooting the laptop? There were better alternatives to the situation. He sure doesn't seem like a guy that one could easily be friends with. TL;DR: I think he's more of an angry drunk than a fun drunk. I hope you do not think that shooting the laptop was the first step as it most likely was a culmination of events that led up to it. Im sure there were conversations before that. Who cares about being his friend What a jerk, she is just a teenager. Between the two I would say he is the one that needs disciplining. I hope social services looks into him She is obviously a teenager without respect for her elders, does not value hard work or have the ability to comprehend what her parents are teaching her whatever the fractured relationship is. You will learn as your child grows up and develops a mouth and attitude that there are times you have to make a point that is so blatantly obvious it resonates with them for a long time. This was one of those actions. CPS needs to stay the hell out of it as this is not child abuse nor neglect but a message being sent to clarify a position. 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dr_bowtie Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 Here is the thing NOT one person in this thread has even touched on.... True fact: If you follow the rules and don't break them there is NO Punishment what-so-ever.... Meaning if you follow the rules as you should you will NEVER get into trouble...never have to worry about being spanked as a child...never have to worry about Jail as an Adult.... I teach my children this... Dont want to do the time , dont do the crime it is just that simple... Dont all Parents teach their children this...??? something my dad taught me.... Every time I got into trouble he always said this to me.... "Son...there is the easy way and the hard way.... dammit why must you always chose the hard way?" I was a stubborn child but I tell you what... i'd hate to think where I;d be today without my parents strict disciple... I've not been to Jail ever ( but I have had warrants) I have never been in serious trouble and the time I have I made those choices...no one else did. Had I followed the rules I wouldnt have gotten into trouble. Simple fact is my parents gave me chores and I did them... they didnt give me the option it was an assignment. My reward for doing so were those things in life i wanted but didnt need... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyt Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 All Im saying is that as a 16 year old , if you hit me - I hit back !! I havent really been disciplined unless it was called for and I believe that the spanking and lessons which were taught to me, made me a better person. Parents just need to use the right judgement Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhenKittensATK Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 He be crazy, I would have just blocked her off the internet and taken the laptop Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_bowtie Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 I think he wanted to send a much stronger lesson of "I Giveth and I Taketh Away" you can take a kids laptop and their net connection but even some kids are sneaky enough to get around that.... I know I was the sneaky kid... this way there is NO chance of her using it.... was it the right thing to do...? who knows but then again it does work... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wildman2 Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 "Spanking = OK Abusive beating = Not OK Chores = OK Shooting a laptop I bought for my kid that uses it to disparage me publicly because I expect him/her to follow the rules = Priceless Guess I'll just put it out here - if you're my child and I'm putting a roof over your head, feeding you, paying your health care insurance (and possibly car insurance) buying your class ring, yearbook, paying for your braces, putting money back for your college education (and the list could go on and on) - I don't owe you a compromise solution. I have rules and expectations and it is your responsibility to follow and adhere to them. If you don't there aren't any compromises. Parenting is not a democracy. When your parent gives you a chore, that's more than just getting work done to help around the house or farm - that's teaching you how to work and the value of doing a job and doing a job right. When your parent tells you to do something, most of the time there is a reason for the request - when you do as your parents ask you learn how to follow directions and take direction - something that will come in very valuable when you become an adult and try to hold down a job When your parent tells you not to do something - most of the time it's because it's for your own good When your parent expects you to be polite and do as your told that is teaching you how to be respectful of those that God has put in authority over your life When your parent disciplines you for miss-behaving or not doing as your asked that's teaching you there are consequences for not following rules Our society is literally at the edge of collapse because kids no longer learn at an early age that there is right and wrong. There is (or at least should be) authority in their lives. Many are disrespectful, antagonistic, selfish little brats with an entitlement attitude. Parents can't spank for fear of reprisal, they've taken the paddle out of the classroom, many schools don't even recite the Pledge of Allegiance at the beginning of the day anymore. Heck, you can't even say a public prayer before a darn football game. Sad, sad, sad. " Priceless..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F13Bubba Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 I think he did the right thing. My sister begged my Dad for months for a guitar, and he finally caved in. For months after, she misbehaved constantly, and my parent were very soft handed with her. After she stole the car and went to cali with her friends, he took her guitar and smashed it on the brick fence in our front yard. She was bad into drugs though, and it got worse before it got better. As I've experienced, and seen with other families, you can't straighten out blatantly disrespectful, trouble making kids like this girl without extreme measures. And for everyone who thinks it's the parents' fault she's acting out. that's crap. The biggest influence on a kid's development at that age is the kid's peers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingfisher Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 I think the biggest problem today is parents fail. Not all but most. Take a look at how many high school kids driving cars their parents bought them. Or the iPhones and laptops and xboxs and nintendos. Ask around to other parents about how their kids each have their own tv computer or cars. I asked my friend who has 2 kids who married his wife with three. He bought a 6 bedroom house so each can have their own room. He bought the two oldest in high school cars. None of them work and they just complain they are bored or have nothing to do. My point in all this is if you provide everything a kid wants , they won't appreciate it and just cry for more later. Kids are spoiled and lazy. Monkey seemonkey do, they become products of their environment There is no work ethic or drive to succeed, can't say I blame them, their stupid parents give them everything and they don't have to lift a finger. They grow up lazy and entitled. They won't work because they never had to. Mom and dad will fix things for them. When I was a kid I had to earn everything I had. My first car I bought was a 1973 mercury montego for $500. I loved it. Worked two part time jobs to insure it and pay for gas. Back to my friend with the five kids, he works two jobs to buy them everything they want. I asked him why he feels compelled to spend all this money. His answer was because they have to have these things to be able to get around and have fun. So blind and dumb parents have gotten and now they reap the benefits. Lazy disrespectful spoiled kids who have no sense of accomplishment or vision to work hard in life. Congratulations.! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccokeman Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 All Im saying is that as a 16 year old , if you hit me - I hit back !! I havent really been disciplined unless it was called for and I believe that the spanking and lessons which were taught to me, made me a better person. Parents just need to use the right judgement In this respect I think the punishment fit the crime. I think he wanted to send a much stronger lesson of "I Giveth and I Taketh Away" you can take a kids laptop and their net connection but even some kids are sneaky enough to get around that.... I know I was the sneaky kid... this way there is NO chance of her using it.... was it the right thing to do...? who knows but then again it does work... Of course it was the right thing to do! Most (Not All) kids these days expect things to be handed to them on a silver platter and have a sense of entitlement like no other generation ever has. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonerboy779 Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 Most (Not All) kids these days expect things to be handed to them on a silver platter and have a sense of entitlement like no other generation ever has. That include me? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
VaporX Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 In our discussion of this on the radio show today we did come to the conclusion the father went to far. He should not have sto the PC and taken it from her. He should have given it back once it was shot up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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