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GabrielT

Never tell people you know how computers work

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I cleaned out my friends hard drive on their 7 year old P4 and got it running a little bit better. Bad move. They call me ALL the time now cause they are computer illiterate. Every single thing that goes wrong they think is because of what I did. I'll prolly not try to fix anyones tech ever again.

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technical???

lol!!!

 

My electronics teacher used to tell me, "no matter what, always make it sound way more technical and complicated than it really is."

 

So for the above circumstance he would mouth off something like,

 

".....with considerable time spent troubleshooting very thoroughly I have concluded several important issues that needed to be dealt with accordingly. There seemed to be a large congestion of data, which was no longer useful, that was taking resources away from the system and causing wasted cycles which lead to your pc slowing down. Also fragments of data were in unfavorable placement which lead to slow seek times and poor performance on the hard disk which i tackled with appropriate measures......."

 

Bla bla, i could go on and on but you get the picture.

Normally you don't have to go that far though. With some people you can just say computer and they just stop paying attention :teehee:

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technical???

lol!!!

 

My electronics teacher used to tell me, "no matter what, always make it sound way more technical and complicated than it really is."

 

So for the above circumstance he would mouth off something like,

 

".....with considerable time spent troubleshooting very thoroughly I have concluded several important issues that needed to be dealt with accordingly. There seemed to be a large congestion of data, which was no longer useful, that was taking resources away from the system and causing wasted cycles which lead to your pc slowing down. Also fragments of data were in unfavorable placement which lead to slow seek times and poor performance on the hard disk which i tackled with appropriate measures......."

 

Bla bla, i could go on and on but you get the picture.

 

This one reminds me of the old saying "If you cant dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bull crap.” :biggrin:

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I remember I got a call out the blue one day from my uncle that I hadn't heard from in years asking me what kind of computer he should buy. I should have just told him to ask someone else or been a jerk about it, but I didn't. My mom called shortly after and said she gave him my cell number and said she was sorry. Thanks mom.

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I used to be the go to guy back when I was in high school and college. Everybody expected me to know everything about computers. Once I had an uncle practically demand that I fix his laptop, which had gotten bogged down with spyware and viruses and needed a good, thorough cleaning. Keep in mind that this "request" was made while we were all at a family party at this other uncle's house, so everybody was there to have a good time. I worked on it for a little bit, and set it down while it was running some scans to go play Xbox with my cousins. My uncle gets all indignant and wants to know why I'm not devoting 100% of my time fixing his computer! I pretty much told him that I wasn't his tech support and that I was cleaning his computer as a courtesy and that if he wanted professional level help, then go pay for a professional. That shut him up real good.

 

Since then, I've downplayed my technical abilities. I really don't want to help people out with stuff who aren't going to show any gratitude. Whenever a professor has a technical problem, I refuse to volunteer my services, because the first time I do it, I'll be expected to do it from then on. No thanks, that's what the school's IT staff is for, ask them for help.

 

You know what's a shady move, but brilliant at the same time?

 

Say you're fixing a computer, and one of your policies is, is that if a computer part is bad, you'll upgrade without charging a fee. The customer would just pay the price for the new component, while you get to keep the bad part to "use the good parts leftover to fix bad parts on other components".

 

So if they have a GTX 580 that "went bad", they'd buy a new video card while you kept the "bad one". ;)

 

However, the only drawback is if they still have a warranty. I guess I fail at shady business tactics. :(

 

Yea, that's fraud.

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You know what's a shady move, but brilliant at the same time?

 

Say you're fixing a computer, and one of your policies is, is that if a computer part is bad, you'll upgrade without charging a fee. The customer would just pay the price for the new component, while you get to keep the bad part to "use the good parts leftover to fix bad parts on other components".

 

So if they have a GTX 580 that "went bad", they'd buy a new video card while you kept the "bad one". ;)

 

However, the only drawback is if they still have a warranty. I guess I fail at shady business tactics. :(

you're on to something

 

too bad that could get us in more trouble than it's worth

Edited by molotovdaskwerl

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I actually have had mostly positive experiences working on peoples computers. (probably because I charge for my services)

 

 

 

I get around 2 calls a month all from word of mouth. Mostly old people who are just happy to see another human being.

 

Important things to note:

Always dress nice e.x. collard shirt, nice pants, clean shaved etc...

Always be courteous and polite (old people like this a lot (especially from "our generation"))

Explain what you are doing in very basic ways (when explain what a defrag is I like to tell people that "its like a book. the index says this chapter is on pages 3,4,5 and 53. so it moves the parts together, so they all line up")

People like it when you dont treat them like an idiot (it also makes them feel like they arent being taken advantage of)

If I cant fix the problem, or am not sure of what I'm doing I tell them so they arent expecting me to be a miracle worker. then when I tell them that they should take it to geeksquad, or send it back, or whatever else my recommendation is they believe me.

 

One last important note:

always let them ask you how much they owe. Pause for a second like you had never even considered it until they brought it up. then say x number of hours @ whatever you charge ( I used to charge 10, but people told me I didnt charge enough so now I charge 15)

about 1/2 the time they will give you a little extra. (thats why being polite and looking nice is important)

 

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Important things to note:

Always dress nice e.x. collard shirt, nice pants, clean shaved etc...

Always be courteous and polite (old people like this a lot (especially from "our generation"))

Explain what you are doing in very basic ways (when explain what a defrag is I like to tell people that "its like a book. the index says this chapter is on pages 3,4,5 and 53. so it moves the parts together, so they all line up")

People like it when you dont treat them like an idiot (it also makes them feel like they arent being taken advantage of)

If I cant fix the problem, or am not sure of what I'm doing I tell them so they arent expecting me to be a miracle worker. then when I tell them that they should take it to geeksquad, or send it back, or whatever else my recommendation is they believe me.

That my friend is a model business. :thumbsup:

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I've developed a new policy when it comes to fixing any computer.

 

There is a 15 dollar pizza tax, up front, with no refunds if I cannot fix their computer.

 

This needs to be paid before I will even touch it.

 

So far it has worked pretty well. :P

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