Told my girlfriend something I probably shouldn't have

[Alphadog]

Thats why you date or get in Engaged. So you can feel each other out. If it does not work out so be it. You said in your post that she has told you about things in her past. She wasn't proud of and thats a good start. Its better to bring out everything in the open if you want to further the relationship you have. Thats the mature way of doing things and i hope it works out for the both of you.

[redtigerdragon]

I'm gonna throw in my opinion as well.

 

She has no right to keep bringing this up and getting angry with you. None whatsoever. It is something that you regret doing, and don't plan on doing it again. That's the end of the line. If she continually brings it up and can't get past it, it's time you get past her. This will not bode well for your relationship at all. This isn't your problem, it's hers. SHE is the one who has the issue, NOT you. I don't know if you are religious or not, but almost any God of any religion at this point would have moved on. Is she better than God?

 

Seriously, I want to stress that this is HER issue, not yours. You have dealt with it, feel bad, and have moved on. SHE has not. SHE is the issue.

[InCrYsIs]

i won't beat around the bush here, i told my girlfriend i'd slept with a prostitute. although it was about 5 years before we started dating it's becoming an issue.

 

now frankly while i do expect a few replies here condemning my behaviour that's really not what i need to hear. it was while i was on holday in amsterdam, and it was more of a tourist thing. i didn't go there to visit a prostitute and i haven't since. i don't mean to make excuses but that's just not the kind of person i am. i regret it badly, especially the fact that i'll have to carry it with me for the rest of my life.

 

the real problem is that while my girlfriend says she loves me, and that she knows i'm a good person she can't help feeling disgusted and ashamed by it. i don't blame her, and in many ways i feel the same, but neither of us want this to ruin our relationship, and since i told her (a couple months ago) she can't help but be reminded of it on a fairly regular basis which causes all sorts of issues.

 

does anyone have any experience with this kind of situation or have any advice for getting past issues like this?

 

I had secks with a prostitute in Mexico several years before I got married or even knew her. I kept that to myself. I think some things are best left unsaid and that is one of them. Although when we were getting divorced and things got dicey I told her the mexican prostitute i banged was a way better lay than you. She looked at me a little funny but let it go.

 

No joke true story

 

Side note, she also always felt compelled to tell me about her previous secks life and I told her I didn't want to hear it. She cheated on me so I guess all the stories she told should have given me pause.

Edited October 18, 2010 by InCrYsIs

[Gremlin]

First of all why are you feeling bad for it? Were you in a relationship with someone when you had . with the prostitute in Amsterdam? If so, than yes you did a bad thing. If you were single, than you have nothing to worry about. You probably want to see the big deal was.

 

Now reading posts, you mentioned she had past? Compare it what she did to yours? Meaning she is regretting what she did and trying not to brings her up, and she is disgusted with what you did.. Hope that makes sense.. If she can't get over it, than I say move on, find a different girl... She has issues.. When you get married to her, any mistake that you do small or big, she will bring the Amsterdam thing up every single time..

 

Why are you feeling bad? Sorry I do not understand.. It looks like you are feeling bad after you mentioned it to her.. Before you met her (current gf), were you feeling bad about it?

 

My honest opinion, is get over it.. It was five years ago.. If she can't understand it, she is not the right person for you .. She is trying to point her embarrassment from what she did to you.. That is my 2 cents..

Edited October 18, 2010 by Gremlin

[El_Capitan]

The real question is, what does the prostitute in Amsterdam think about you having s3x with other girls without paying for it, before you met her?

[InCrYsIs]

First of all why are you feeling bad for it? Were you in a relationship with someone when you had . with the prostitute in Amsterdam? If so, than yes you did a bad thing. If you were single, than you have nothing to worry about. You probably want to see the big deal was.

 

Now reading posts, you mentioned she had past? Compare it what she did to yours? Meaning she is regretting what she did and trying not to brings her up, and she is disgusted with what you did.. Hope that makes sense.. If she can't get over it, than I say move on, find a different girl... She has issues.. When you get married to her, any mistake that you do small or big, she will bring the Amsterdam thing up every single time..

 

Why are you feeling bad? Sorry I do not understand.. It looks like you are feeling bad after you mentioned it to her.. Before you met her (current gf), were you feeling bad about it?

 

My honest opinion, is get over it.. It was five years ago.. If she can't understand it, she is not the right person for you .. She is trying to point her embarrassment from what she did to you.. That is my 2 cents..

 

I agree...why should he feel bad? It was years ago and its over and done with. Get over it. Just from experience and I don't mean to be a downer for the original poster. If she keeps bringing it up and can't get over it....the relationship is over and probably ended when you finished your sentence.

[wevsspot]

psycho - a solid solution

 

next time you're fixing to get intimate with your current girl, offer to pay for it.................

 

one thing I did miss though, I don't think you ever mentioned whether the prostitute was male or female

 

if she is worried about std's - then you might mention that legal brothels in amsterdam require that patrons wear protection

[El_Capitan]

one thing I did miss though, I don't think you ever mentioned whether the prostitute was male or female

Such a double standard. If a girl found out a guy had s3x with another guy in the past, they would NOT be okay with that.

 

On the other hand, a guy always hopes their girl has had s3x with another girl in the past.

[wevsspot]

On the other hand, a guy always hopes their girl has had s3x with another girl in the past.

Of course

 

That is unless your girlfriend dumps you and runs off with another girl..............................

[El_Capitan]

Of course

 

That is unless your girlfriend dumps you and runs off with another girl..............................

That's not too bad. Better than running off with another guy.

 

Best case scenario: she introduces you to the other girl and both sides of the bed are warm at night.

[Bosco]

one thing I did miss though, I don't think you ever mentioned whether the prostitute was male or female

 

Falls on the floor laughing

[krazypoloc]

Krazy's rule's for life

 

#1. Don't talk about your past sexual relationships, partners, sexual habits, sexual anything with your current partner.

#2. Don't talk about your past sexual relationships, partners, sexual habits, sexual anything with your current partner.

#3. Don't talk about your past sexual relationships, partners, sexual habits, sexual anything with your current partner.

#4. Don't talk about your past sexual relationships, partners, sexual habits, sexual anything with your current partner.

#5. Don't talk about your past sexual relationships, partners, sexual habits, sexual anything with your current partner.

Edited October 19, 2010 by krazypoloc