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schoolslave

My GF cheated one me.......

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Edited by schoolslave

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I understand the anger and disappointment, this happened to me a few years ago.

 

My advice to break it off cleanly. If she cheats once, she will again.

 

Oh, and it really isn't Rob's fault. It is hers. When you date someone, there should be a level of trust and commitment. It is the responsibility of the parties involved to keep that trust and commitment, if it broken, the person responsible is the one that violated it, not any third party.

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Life Experiences +1

 

You're on your way to being a super paladin. I'm sure she thought you were fooling around when you started talking to other women. Either way, she probably had her mind set to fark the other guy...hence the sudden need to take a break. Sorry bout that, not all women are trash. Best bet, find a chick that has lost like 50 lbs...they are all nice :)

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I understand the anger and disappointment, this happened to me a few years ago.

 

My advice to break it off cleanly. If she cheats once, she will again.

 

Oh, and it really isn't Rob's fault. It is hers. When you date someone, there should be a level of trust and commitment. It is the responsibility of the parties involved to keep that trust and commitment, if it broken, the person responsible is the one that violated it, not any third party.

 

 

According to her he was the one who wanted to Oh wtf! This is so xxxxing stupid. I hate myself for ever dating her.

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Hey, that's part of dating. Almost everyone dates someone they regret, just take it as a growing and learning experience. Oh, the guy always wants to fark...she agreed to it.

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According to her he was the one who wanted to Oh wtf! This is so xxxxing stupid. I hate myself for ever dating her.

 

It doesn't matter, she agreed to frack him, so it is her that broke the trust with you.

 

Cut your losses. Move on. Maybe one of the next 100 or so women will be THE ONE for you. :D

 

In my case, the relationship was rocky, but she boffed a guy before we formally cut it off. It didn't matter that we were on the way out, I still viewed it as a violation of our relationship. If she had told me before that she wanted to end it, I wouldn't have minded, we would have been done. But sleep with another guy and then wait for me to make the move to stop the relationship?

 

Gutless. Gutless and weak.

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It doesn't matter, she agreed to frack him, so it is her that broke the trust with you.

 

Cut your losses. Move on. Maybe one of the next 100 or so women will be THE ONE for you. :D

 

In my case, the relationship was rocky, but she boffed a guy before we formally cut it off. It didn't matter that we were on the way out, I still viewed it as a violation of our relationship. If she had told me before that she wanted to end it, I wouldn't have minded, we would have been done. But sleep with another guy and then wait for me to make the move to stop the relationship?

 

Gutless. Gutless and weak.

 

 

lol. How true. Same with this relationship, we were on a break, but still....and now she wants to be back together?Ummm....no. Not going to happen.

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I think a person that is sensitive, weak, and unstable would have more of a difficult time understanding what has happened to what he/she thought can be trusted in anyway you can possibly think of. The above refers to me. :-)

You need to understand that what she has done is a sign of weakness, you are a strong person because you stood by her and didn't do what she did. Its life its not normal and everything that you think will happen will flipflop on you, so i understand you.

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here's some sage advice from a 34 year old who has been around the block many many times (including a divorce):

 

welcome to life

 

yeah that don't make it any easier to stomach I know, but when you stop and think about it with a clear head, you will realize that it makes all the sense in the world.

 

Remember how you felt when you lost that little league game? That Counter-Strike match? The spelling bee? Your grandma to Alzheimer's?

 

ie: whatever...it's part of life. You are young duder...this is not the last time you will experience this. Not by any means. What young 'uns don't understand that we oldies understand (until you are older yourself, then you'll say "man that xxxxer Angry was dead-on") is that your heart will be broken in a number of ways, a number of times. No one's life is perfect. Not even me & momma who are about as close to perfect in my mind as anything I've ever had before. You got to work at it. But more importantly, back to the young vs old thing, is that you should realize that you ARE young.

 

Relationships are glamorous or sexy or whatever it is that gets your just-out-of-puberty hormones raging. My palms still get sweaty thinking about teh first girl I kissed with some tongue action, the time I lost my virginity, all the "first kisses" from each and every previous girlfriend I've ever had. That never changes.

 

What changes is you over time. It's so incredibly hard to see beyond the right-now when you are at your age. This isn't a bad fault because there isn't a dude in here over 25 or 30 that will tell you differently. It is what it is. Sometimes it's a sort of desperation like "jesus I might NEVER get another woman again!" or "omg I might have to wait 6 months to find another girlfriend that's just too xxxxing long!" or any number of things that make you want to be in a steady, serious relationship.

 

And none of us old guys will deny the incredible pain and emotional suffering we've had at the hands of women...and if you ask women, they'll say the same exact thing because they've all chased after Johnny Quarterback only to have him shag her and then immediately dump her or shag her best friend, etc.

 

Like momo says, Life Experience +1. Consider yourself lucky for a couple of reasons:

 

1. pain sucks but it allows you to know that you are human who has real emotions. You'd be surprised honestly by how many people don't really realize they are either human or sociopaths until a relationship goes bad.

 

2. pain is an experience. Like putting your fingers on the stove burner, or slamming them in the door. Difference is, there's no completely right way to avoid relationship pain like there is with a hot stove or a closing door. But like everything, experience is important. If some jackass is sniping you from a hillside in CoD4 repeatedly, experience says you are going to avoid open spaces and sneak around and kill that motherxxxxer. Same thing with women...experience tells you once a woman cheats on you, it's over as in your heart and mind, you will NEVER be able to trust her again. No matter how much you think you love her. Experience also dictates that you hash and re-hash all the rights and wrongs from both of you during your relationship, and you make the mental notes of Do's and Dont's and then like a dumbass (like all of us lol), you end up making the same mistakes again down the road because like a dumbass (again, like all of us lol), you let the little head think for the big head. I'm 34 and still find this to be somewhat of a problem, but not NEARLY as much as when I was 15-25. There's no cure for it other than living and learning and moving on.

 

Life is full of heartache and heartbreak. Your parents will eventually pass away, as will your dog, cat, whatever. You'll have to sell your house one day and even if it's because you are moving to a better house, memories like those bring out the hurt because you won't get to experience them again except in passing. You'll have to sell your favorite car one day, your best computer will burn out, all sorts of heartache and heartbreak like I said. Some material, some emotional, some mental, some physical, and some that don't fit in any category or a little bit in all categories.

 

I've been where you are with the anger. Let's put it this way, the ex-wife, before she was the ex-wife, she showed up to collect her things with an Orange County sheriff's deputy down in Orlando and it was a good thing he was there because I'd basically smashed every xxxxing thing in teh entire apartment with a nice Easton baseball bat. That's what happens when you think you are in love for the rest of your life and then you find out she is banging some jerk from work who has a pregnant wife at home who is in the dark as well.

 

I've been there where I wanted to go ventilate a motherxxxxer with extreme prejudice because of some . like this that went down. You and I both know violence isn't the answer, but man it sure is hard to resist sometimes in the heat of the moment.

 

The hardest part is the dwelling on it for weeks and months to come. Hell, just relating how I smashed up the entire apartment...10...12 years ago? makes me feel that burning anger all over again.

 

That's how you know you really loved someone and it wasn't a sham. It's a good thing really...imagine if you didn't have those kinds of deep-rooted, intense feelings that lingered on long after the fact...that would scare me to death because I'd worry that maybe I WAS a sociopath without real emotions or emotional attachments. The fact that I still get bent completely out of shape thinking about the ex means as far as I'm concerned the love was more real than anything else in this life that I've ever experienced.

 

What does all this have to do with you? Dunno now that I've ranted for 20 minutes lol. You might find something useful to latch onto and remember in your darkest moments maybe? I guess the most important thing is that you aren't alone. We've ALL went through this (those of us who have emotions anyway lol). It's hurt us just as bad as it has you. This is life. Get used to it, but at the same time, learn from it.

 

And remember...as much as you hate hearing it...you ARE young. So much life left in front of you to experience...why would you want to be tied down to one woman so soon? We ALL feel like this is what we want during our early years because like I said, some of it is the fear we might never get something so good again later (trust me, it gets BETTER...that ain't no lie!), and some of it is probably those insanely intense feelings that we've never really experienced before...that whole puberty thing (I didn't hit it until I was 15 myself) really messes with you. You think you know anger, joy, love, hate growing up but it isn't until those emotions start to escalate during that stage of growing up that you realize everything you felt before was like a toy train set compared to the . you feel going through puberty (and after), which is like a CSX 200-car freight train blasting down a track out of control at 70mph. Those emotions...obliterate anything and everything in your path, and sometimes they even stop, back up and run . over multiple times just for good measure.

 

Well, I'm sure this is more than you wanted to read, but maybe some other young buck will come along in the same situation (remember Charlie? he and I talked about this very same thing 2 years ago in here) and realize hey, it's just life, and as much as it sucks right now and as painful as it is right now, it gets better.

 

I'll repeat what I said just a second ago too...it DOES get better. Girls your age...they might be mature to you because they have hips and breasts, but they are like you, emotionally immature. That ain't no insult to you either. It is just the truth. As you get a bit older and more experienced (like...starting college...woo hoo!), you start to find girls that are maturing nicely both physically and emotionally (and mentally!), and when you think back to your teenage years...you sorta just laugh and thank God or Ganesh or Buddha or Xenu the evil Scientology alien-god whatever that you didn't get stuck with "ol' what's-her-name".

 

Mature boobies are great, but there is nothing more wonderful than a mature mind when it comes to women.

 

ps they are ALL psycho. Every last xxxxing woman on earth. All of them are defective in some way or another. You just spend your life trying to pick the right one (like fruit...you looking for the ripest ones with the least amount of bruises and/or blemishes hahaha)

 

ok, Dr_Games out...homework time *xxxxING ALGEBRA!!!!*

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Dude you're such bs about your previous girlfriends and remembering the first and last kisses. That was just a dream Angry, just look on the left of your monitor where that blow up doll is, that's what you had damnit! Well, i think you might of hidden it from your current sweetheart because you didn't want her to know that you're a BIG COMPUTER GEEK that didn't have a girlfriend because you wouldn't leave the room and bought yourself a blow up doll or even that dirty manikin. HAHAHAHAHAHHA!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't ban me i was only #$%^'in with you, i swear...hehe...

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