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Guest r3d c0m3t_merged

Let's hope for the best...

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Guest r3d c0m3t

Despite the fact that the thread title may be a bit misleading (especially with the winkin' smiley) it's intended for the will of another, my grandmother...

 

...My mom told me she had a heart attack earlier today, and when I just got back a few minutes ago she tells me the doctor's don't think she'll make it. So, I might have to go up to Philadelphia to see her (hopefully not for the last time, especially since I haven't seen her in years due to family conflicts.) I'm hoping she'll pull through this and keep living on because she's far too young as it is now, she's only 50 or 60-something.

 

As the title implies, let's all hope for the best....

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Thats horrible to hear. She will be in my prayers.

 

My uncle is going throw problems also, he just had a stroke (kinda) and lost his right side for a few days, and he is seeing double. He as been having problems for years. He is going to Hawaii to see my cousin in a month or two, and my parents are going with. He hasn't been around because of his medical problems.

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conflicts need to be resolved before they can never be resolved.

 

I learned this while tending to my mother dying of bone cancer a few years ago. I hated that xxxxing classy lady all my life until she got cancer and the reality of our mortality hit me like a speeding diesel. I spent the last 2 years of her life forgiving her and trying to make up for 25+ years of hatred for all the things she did to me and my brother and sister.

 

In the end, it felt like a huge weight lifted from me as I could finally release all the hate and rage inside over her, as well as give her a piece of mind that she was forgiven and that we definitely loved each other even if it was a strained, conflicting love for 99% of it.

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Guest r3d c0m3t
Thats horrible to hear. She will be in my prayers.

 

My uncle is going throw problems also, he just had a stroke (kinda) and lost his right side for a few days, and he is seeing double. He as been having problems for years. He is going to Hawaii to see my cousin in a month or two, and my parents are going with. He hasn't been around because of his medical problems.

 

Sorry to hear that, hopefully he'll get better in time.

 

As for myself, everything has been a bit hectic with my family over the past few years, my aunt was in the hospital because of her smoking, my mom was in the hospital because of her kidneys, and I was in the hospital (several times) because of seizures. As cruel as it is, it seems as if one thing led to another, each much worse than what preceded.

 

Now it's come to something much worse, which might not turn out the way things did for me, my mom, or my aunt. I keep saying the same thing over and over, and I seem to be avoiding the problem personally, but I've never dealt with the possibility of death concerning a family member I actually care about.

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im sorry to hear all these stories, and best wishes to all here who are have loved ones who are not in good health. personally, i think life is a "B", seems to me it loves to throw things at you to tear you down, but there are things that will always get you back up if you have the will. when my mother passed, it tore me apart, but it brought me to the woman i love very much. there will always be ups and downs, some pretty insane at that, but hang in there, what is past cant be changed, but the future is waiting to be what you make it.

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Guest r3d c0m3t

Despite all the votes of confidence from those that posted, and those that may have done so without posting, I sincerely appreciate it, but as unfair as life is, and as it always will be...another life has been lost.

 

My mom just told me that the doctor's won't be able to do anything for her, so as it would turn out my mom's brother has given the okay to take her off of life support, because he doesn't want her to suffer any longer.

 

I don't know how to handle this exactly, I mean the last time I even saw my grandmother was when I graduated from the sixth grade, and I just popped up to Philadelphia to pay both my granny and uncle a visit. I'll never forget the look on her face when she saw me, in my cap and gown, and that little blue suit I was wearing. She was such a cheerful person, and it was so damn funny being in the same room with her when she was watching her soaps.

 

She would always give everyone on each of the soaps she watched a piece of her mind, she didn't care if they couldn't hear her, she was unique like that. It was also just as funny talking to her because if you said the wrong thing, she'd curse at you the first chance she got. I remember everything, like it had just happened yesterday, or even several hours ago. I can't believe I haven't seen her in so many years, and what's worse is it wasn't on my own accord, nor my mother's, it was due in part to my uncle's wife. For whatever reason, she hasn't liked my mom since day one, and it eventually came to the point where she told us (through my uncle no less) that we weren't welcomed in her "house" anymore.

 

That bridges the gap from then until now, and what's really messed up is the last time I spoke to her, she asked me when I was going to come up and see her, I didn't know what to say and I know what happened many years was at the back of her mind, if there at all, I told her something to the effect of whenever my mom would.

 

I'll always hate myself for that, even moreso now.

 

I'll stop there because I don't want to go much further, I'm tearing enough as it is, she's in a better place now, and I can only hope to make something of myself. I know that'll make her proud.

 

All I have to say in closing is that this proves life isn't fair. Never will be.

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I'm sorry to hear that man. I wish I'd seen this thread sooner.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself for not seeing her, though. From what you described, I'd say she's upstairs remembering the good times you had together.

 

I'm not really sure what else to say. When my mother died, I was with her right up until she went into hospice (she was only there for two weeks), but we weren't on the best of terms. We were on good terms, but the reality was I hadn't made my peace with her. For years afterward, all I could think about when I thought of her was everything I hated her for, and that I couldn't tell her anymore to get it off of my chest. I tried to grieve when she died but I couldn't. Eventually I made peace with myself.

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