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What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard?


Guest r3d c0m3t_merged

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Guest r3d c0m3t

Hm. This could indeed take a lot of thinking, but as it stands the stupidest thing I've heard as of late has to be when I was informed there was a such thing as a "superior chef." Now, I don't know what the hell that means or how someone could even begin to wonder up such an insignificant morale, but there's simply no such thing.

 

Granted, a chef can have a better dish, but it all comes down to style, and not even that can judged upon.

 

So, what's the stupidest thing you've ever heard?

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The best quote would come from Ted Stevens speech on net-neutrality.

But this service is now going to go through the internet* and what you do is you just go to a place on the internet and you order your movie and guess what you can order ten of them delivered to you and the delivery charge is free.

 

Ten of them streaming across that internet and what happens to your own personal internet?

 

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

 

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.

 

.........

 

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

 

It's a series of tubes.

 

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

 

Now we have a separate Department of Defense internet now, did you know that?

 

Do you know why?

 

Because they have to have theirs delivered immediately. They can't afford getting delayed by other people.

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Guest SuppA-SnipA

stupidest thing i ever heard was from a customer at best buy "is Norton any good?" best buy rep said yes :(

 

and of course my friend at school asks me "SuppA-SnipA, i have 3 anti virus apps installed, why is my pc slow?"

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Guest Retratserif

"What two colors make green?" followed by a blank stare and alot of blinking.

 

"Tenths? Hundreds? Of a foot? What kinda measement is that european?" A Home owner asks while looking at the completed "Plat of Survey".

 

"Ok, I have a house plan, so what do I do next" A class A contractor asks me....

 

"You ever have Donuts and ...Coffee? Its the #@$% man? And you dip it in the coffee" A very excited kid said to me.

 

"Dude my computer is is great, its a Dell" Team Speak suddenly gets really silent as I have to go mute.

 

"You built your own PC?" "You can do that?" "You must be either poor or an genius"....I couldnt comment on this guy.

 

"You have water in your Computer!?!?!" "Dude that must suck!"

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There are so many but I'll go with the most recent.

 

"You mean that isn't covered under warranty?"

 

Asked by one of my customers... A few months back, I repaired the steering column in his truck after a theft attempt. Somebody tried to steal it again and busted up his steering column again.

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during a transfer while I was active duty US Coast Guard, I was en route driving my Jeep,towing my VW Corrado behind me, from Texas to Florida. In Alabama my girlfriend and stopped to buy gas at a station. I had my pet Yellow Naped Amazon Parrot with me on my shoulder when I went inside the store to pay. Inside I had the stupidest statement I had ever heard directed to me. A young girl, who was in line behind me at the cash register asked me, in her slow Alabama drawl, "Is dat bird for real?" I looked at her and then at then at my bird and asked my "bird are you for real?" My parrot said "What?" in a very loud voice. The girl was absolutely stunned and I supposed at that point that she no longer thought my pet was a fake bird on my shoulder.

 

:)

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a tv sales rep goes on and on for a full 2-3 minutes on selling a beautiful picture of a horse, until he paused for abit, and say "ok, my producer just said this is not a horse, its a butterfly", and then he goes on and on about how beautiful the picture of the butterfly is.....

 

and its actually is a picture of a butterfly by the way....

 

maybe u can still find the video somewhere on the net.

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Hah, and anyone remember that one with the guy showing off the Dell.

"TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX megabytes, yes that's right, TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX."

And it kept freezing on him, and he was like "OK, now we're downloading a game off the video card, look how Internet Explorer is still running".

Heh.

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