Tjj226_Angel Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I'm also calling BS on the "he's been abusive in the past" claim until I see a source. Sounds like another made up story like your economics friend that proved Western Digital was ripping people off or the lawyer friend that claims using a belt to spank is illegal and the whatever else friends you have that are the experts of everything in the universe lol edit: lol 17,428,060 views 191,577 likes, 15,579 dislikes Look at the likes compared to dislikes. If you tell me if there is a way to source a phone call I will. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaron6581230 Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 No, actually that is what I am looking for. You actually have it dead center to what I believe in. What I don't believe in is for a father to ground the daughter if she mises a single item on a long list. There are normal non abusive families that have weird policies that if you miss one chore even if it is an accident, then all hell will break loose. You have a much more balanced system. I actually say you are a much better parent than the one in the video. I'm not sure if you're trying to relate this to the father in the video, but in this case, she's not being grounded for missing a single chore or anything of that simple nature. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Il_napoletano Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 the moral story is......sort problems out with guns...lol but it's true...kids need dicipline...when I was younger, I knew if you're naughty...you're gonna get a spanking, and it was that very thought that made me stop and think before I did something. And yeah maybe when I was little I didnt like that, but now im glad they did..it taught me self-dicipline and self-control...and now I see some of my old friends that never got diciplined, smoking dope and with no education..that's why I'm happy that my parents brought me up the way they did. The end... ps...remove the spanking ban(in england) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrewr05 Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Shooting the laptop was way WAY over the line.You still haven't answered my question of whether you think it would have been any more or less *"acceptable"* if he had hacked at the laptop with a hatchet or ran it over. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonerboy779 Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 You still haven't answered my question of whether you think it would have been any more or less *"acceptable"* if he had hacked at the laptop with a hatchet or ran it over. IMO I think a hatchet would have been the worse of the two he rather calmly used the gun and IMO there is no calm way of using a hatchet Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deathmineral Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I think the part of this thread I like the most is everyone telling their stories of how they were spanked and turned into better people because of it. Like it's a golden truth or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coors Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Question...if I spank a girl during . and she likes it, is it still abuse? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjj226_Angel Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Alright let's get one thing straight here. I understand you work with children and families of abuse. But keep in mind, that is the complete extreme of how bad parenting can lead to. What we see in this video is an example of basic parenting technique - you give your child a privilege, they are not responsible with it, you take it away. Simple as that. Personally, I don't believe he should have shot the laptop, but he had the right idea of taking the laptop away permanently because his daughter CHOSE to highly disrespect her parents for the world to see. Children, especially of that age, need DIRECT consequences. What's going to happen when you reformat the thing and give it back to her? She's going to get back on facebook and do EXACTLY THE SAME THING. She chooses not to respect her father for buying her the laptop, putting a roof over her head, paying for food, books, etc, and she gets consequences. Simple as that! And labor intensive work? You mean chores? Every child should develop, from an early age, a knack for having responsibility. There's a lot of work in maintaining a house, so why is it that she won't put her own share of work into keeping the place clean for the family? As he says in the video, she's not expected to clean every room, or do everyone's laundry. She's responsible for HER OWN bed, HER OWN laundry, some sweeping, and some wiping of counters. She's not expected to be like a child in a sweat shop and actually work for 18 hours a day. And you know what the second reason for these chores is? It's to get her ready to be prepared as an adult. When she eventually moves out, what is she going to do when she doesn't have the experience of a scheduled routine? Will she be as responsible not knowing what it's like to know that there ARE consequences to everything she does? She has no right to disrespect her parents like that. And don't compare this to abusive and violent families because this isn't an example of that. There is no bloody child, or injuries, or anything in that extreme. This is a father taking his daughter's laptop away because she respected him, the family, and herself. She took something as simple as having to do chores, and made it a big deal because she doesn't understand what it takes to raise a family and maintain a living. First off I agree with you more than you think. I actually agree with all of you more than you think (except spanking and belts). Look the girl was not upset that she did not go on a date with a guy who only wears pants and rides a motor cycle. She is upset that her work goes unappreciated. For instance I agree with you about some chores. If nothing else it can teach kids that they need to help the family to maintain the house. If all she was complaining about was that she cleans the floor. I would agree with this guy too. However, she is upset that she cleans the floor and then the parents track mud though the house. Now why can't the "adult" of the situation take off his shoes outside, carry them in, and be careful not to tack dirt? We do that to help our mom, why is it so hard if he does it? Second was the coffee part. Look guys, cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, mowing, and even setting the table I can get and appreciate. They all teach to at least some extent that everyone should all work together. But this sounds like the parents are sitting around and they want to be served coffee. Chores, I can at least compromise on, but servitude is another thing entirely. I mean can't we say that it is at least a little odd? I was wrong to put it as harshly as slave labor before, and I am trying to come down off my language as much as I can to be polite as I can. But I mean can't we call a little BS and call it an abnormal chore? I am going to say the daughter was right on that one. You all are free to disagree with me. Thirdly, they do have a cleaning lady. Here is where I have to start scratching my head. Now, I do agree that children AND adults both should work together to clean the house. However, if you have a cleaning lady.........and your daughter is cleaning up XYZ......... What is the cleaning lady doing? If the floors are clean plus or minus tracked mud, the trash is taken out, dishes are done, laundry is done, dusting would probably be done. What does she do? Stand around? What it sounds like to me is the cleaning lady and Hannah work together to clean the house while the dad does his job, and the mom does......mom things? Plus, since we are all about lessons anyways, why not pay hannah for her work around the house? I mean they are obviously paying the cleaning lady, so why not Hannah for relatively the same reason? It would at least teach Hannah the value of a dollar though hard work. I think that would surely be a better lesson than sheer discipline. Plus, if she were getting payed, what would there be to complain about anyways? Sounds like a win win win to me? Either way, there is some really strange sort of discrepancy here. Either the mother is doing nothing, the cleaning lady is doing nothing, or hannah is doing nothing of which I highly doubt considering how strict things are. So again, it is something that doesn't quite sit right with me. Next is the garden. Now unless this was a fruit and or vegetable garden that would actually provide the family food, then I am with Hannah yet again. If I were a leader. I will use leader so I don't say parent, and yes I have been a leader. If I were a leader, and I wanted a project done for my amusement, I would do it myself. I might ask for help on it but I certainly would not abuse the work force of those under me. If I were in the same situation, I would be sure to to the garden myself. It is my garden, my plants, my enjoyment, my problem. At least that is how I think, and I do have a small garden outside so I would know. It is odd that you make your daughter do it as a chore. Again this would only work if the garden was not a family garden in which food for the family was grown. Then I think it would be fair. I mean I really am for some sort of social structure that supports the family. I just don't think that this has the same pure intention as normal chores do. That is all. I think it was Hannah's full and total right to what whatever the crap she wants. I think it is her dads right to react minus the gun. However, children have the right to freedom of speech, freedom of though, and freedom of expression just as the rest of us do. Believe me I guarantee you this. She can either say it now and there can be eventually some sort of understanding between one and other, or she will suppress it all and say it all over again the day she is out of the house and never see her family again. Which one would you rather have? By the way I never did compare this guy to physically abusive family. I did with the whole spanking and the belt thing, but they are a bit separate from one and other. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coors Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 You might want to watch the video again. She was complaining about making coffee...not serving it. They don't pay the cleaning lady. They trade services with her. You're basing way too much on just a partial story of a ranting 15 year old girl. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjj226_Angel Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Question...if I spank a girl during . and she likes it, is it still abuse? Yes.....................but I am not saying that in the sense you think I am. If you give it some thought and tried to find was sort of um shall we say "category" that fits into, you will find the answer as to why I said that. Also, a hint is that abuse would also be something a tiny bit different. I don't think I can answer that question flat out. I hope you understand why. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonerboy779 Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Question...if I spank a girl during . and she likes it, is it still abuse? Depending on age I think there may be something much more wrong going on Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coors Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Depending on age I think there may be something much more wrong going on Of legal age of course Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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