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Silas13013

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Also, I find it very narrow minded of people to think that you have to form sides based on your ideals. ie. Parents vs Non-parents. Isn't that why our country is so screwed up to begin with is because of partisanship?

:lol: You really couldn't have missed the point any more than you just did.

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Also, I find it very narrow minded of people to think that you have to form sides based on your ideals. ie. Parents vs Non-parents.

 

The point is that you are still a very immature male who doesn't understand why even yourself needs to still be punished. You think you know more about the world now that you are no longer considered a child. Guess what, you are 19, you're considered an adult, why don't you act like one?

 

Spanking or not, to learn anything at all in life you must learn some things the hard way. You cant just do whatever you please and not expect some sort of punishment. You aren't a parent, nether am I, but I can at least respect the fact that the laptop was taken away for a reason.

 

Grow up.

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Lets put it in perspective. How many of you are actually a parent of or have been a parent of teen age children by show of hands?

 

 

I have 10 Children....

 

2 Girls of which were/are teenagers.... now 21 and 19... I raised pretty much on my own until I met my current wife... who also learned alot about teens as her daughter was 3 at the time...

 

Her daughter is now 12 going on 13 so she knows first hand...

 

The thing about kids as they are like Horses and need to be "broken" like horses.... (NOT broken like Hurt)

 

by the time they are 5 years old they should be well on their way to being a good child...if you make it thru the "terrible" 2s and 3s... if you waut til after 5 years old to start discipline it's way too late... if it starts in the beginning then as they grow that stays with them and they arent trouble as a teen... but thats not to say you should be lax when they get out of line...

 

As Stated you got NO business working with other kids when yourself are a kid....

 

Parenting skills are ONLY something you learn being a Parent... and thats having your OWN children or adopting or Fostering...

 

There is NO book in the world to make you a great parent... not all kids are "text book" cases....

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In that capacity you do not understand the hell you put us as parent through. I as a parent have been on both sides of the fence so it is a perspective that you as a teen cannot have or empathize with at this time in your life.

 

Again until you see both sides of the coin you cannot have the perspective that an adult who is raising said children your age. Some of you are absolutely great and a credit to your generation.........the rest of you.......grow up!

I am sorry to say you are presuming a hell of a lot here...

 

True there are time I have been a right little . but for the most part I show my parents the respect they deserve as they show me the respect I deserve. To say I "put them through hell" is going a little far.

Form the age of 16 I was offering to pay board because I hate being entirely dependant on others. However my parents loving as they are would accept none of it provided I continued on as I had since 15 paying for all my clothes, possessions, school books ect, as well as continuing with doing chores and helping out around the house.

 

I can argue with them sure just as any two adults can argue, I know my situation is easy so to ease my own mind I have over the last few years spent multiple thousands of dollars on my family, money that had I had my say would have been for board paying for the food I eat, the electricity I use ect.

My parents paid my school fees and I am paying my uni fees and because of the way they brought me up and the way they respected and nourished my independence I have been working and am in a position now where I can already nearly pay off my entire 1st year uni fees before my course has even begun (bloody 6 grand a semester need to sort a bank check out this week).

 

I have been hit and I have hit back (whenever I hit someone, no matter who whether I love or hate them I feel sick in the gut) I know that neither party really wanted to or enjoyed what they did but people clash and things can get heated. My parents can frustrate me and I them and we try to apologise when things calm down. The last time I remember was 4 or 5 years ago now and prior to that lost to memory.

 

I may not be able to fully "see both sides" but as the eldest in a family of 4 children I know what it is like to look after my younger siblings and I wouldn't say that I or my teenage sister are horror children and this age bracket that gets such a bad rep is not reflected in us to the degree that is always assumed. If it was I severely doubt that many of the privileges earned and granted to me would have ever come about nor would have the responsibilities. By the same token there are plenty of adults that can have some pretty twisted perspectives and notions on what constitutes a healthy way of raising children.... Being a parent doesn't automatically qualify someone (not you) as responsible and mature as well as reasoned and controlled.

 

I would appreciate it if you weren't so condescending and generalised but do understand your point.

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I look forward to the day your child tells you to f' off when they are 8 years old and you refrain from smacking the living . out of them and put them in a time out in the corner. Only to have them come right back with it because the did not give them an attention grabber.

Hell to the no. They aren't getting internet for a damn month. I prefer psychological discipline rather than physical ( I can't be there to spank them every moment of the day, but I sure as hell can stop them from doing what they love). From what I've seen it works better, I think I'm living proof of that.

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Hell to the no. They aren't getting internet for a damn month. I prefer psychological discipline rather than physical ( I can't be there to spank them every moment of the day, but I sure as hell can stop them from doing what they love). From what I've seen it works better, I think I'm living proof of that.

How are you going to do that exactly? Are you going to spend your entire life watching over them like a hawk? Kids are sneaky and there's no way to enforce that type of punishment 100% effectively.

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How are you going to do that exactly? Are you going to spend your entire life watching over them like a hawk? Kids are sneaky and there's no way to enforce that type of punishment 100% effectively.

uhm, I'd like to think that I'm smart enough to block someone from the internet, or at least be able to hide something well enough.....my mom did it...I still don't know where she hid most of my stuff.

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That is one of the points though. Parents do not HAVE to have children. A child should be a planned thing (ideally). If all you are going to do is whine and moan about kids, then why did you have one?

 

I am not questioning that having a kid(s) is a wonderful thing, but at the same token, you do have to weigh the fact that you ARE giving life to something. It is up to you to have weighed the negatives BEFORE you had that kid. You can't use that argument because at that point it is your own fault for not thinking that far ahead.

 

Having a kid is such a massive undertaking that it sounds like an adult in a position to think that all kids give you is hell, did not weigh all the pros and cons.

 

You ideally should love the kids through the good times and the bad. You shouldn't be able to segregate them based on how they annoy you. Love them for all that they are and show it by not harming them. Find a punishment that fits the crime. An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth. So unless a child thinks its funny to just punch you in the face, don't harmfully touch them period.

 

Also, I find it very narrow minded of people to think that you have to form sides based on your ideals. ie. Parents vs Non-parents. Isn't that why our country is so screwed up to begin with is because of partisanship?

 

Tj Adults can chose to have children and sometimes it happens without being planned. Mine was planned and in the end he turned out great. I had one knowing that it would be a challenging experience and I would not trade it for the world.

 

All kids no matter how well behaved will at one time or another make their parents life a living hell. Imagine the thought of your child driving on their own for the first time and seeing them go around that corner and wondering if they will make it back home safely. How about the time you get that call from the police that you kids car is being searched for weed because a drug dog picked up a scent and finding out he was innocent of any wrong doing. All kids will mouth off and say things they regret. Discipline does not mean you love them any less. You keep driving at discipline being abuse its not. Abuse is one thing discipline is another and it seems as though you are having a hard time making the distinction between the two.

 

Just because I discipline my child does not mean that I love him any less. I fully agree with an eye for an eye and in this instance the parent was within his rights as a parent, adult and human being. Being vilified by your child on line is irresponsible and abhorrent and deserved some form of discipline. His response was fine in my eyes because A) he did not hit the child (Yes she is a child in all senses of the word) B) he took away something he gave her as a form of punishment and made sure it would not be the avenue for her diatribe and it really fit the crime. He embarrassed her in a way that had maximum impact on her world without a hand being laid on her. That alone throws your abuse argument completely out the window.

 

I understand your frame of reference for abuse and discipline are skewed because of you life experiences but that is a small body of work in a larger world. As a parent and adult who has raised a child I have a perspective that you cannot and will not until you raise a child and have that experience. There is no partisanship in that statement as you cannot know what it is like until you live it. I have lived both sides of the experience and you have not. Until that time you really cannot know how you will react to each situation.

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Hell to the no. They aren't getting internet for a damn month. I prefer psychological discipline rather than physical ( I can't be there to spank them every moment of the day, but I sure as hell can stop them from doing what they love). From what I've seen it works better, I think I'm living proof of that.

 

 

Spanking is not always needed and is the last resort. This father did exactly as you just said and sure as hell prevented her from doing it again.

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No I am just wondering why only the parent would be important.

Stoner - I really like you........... I really do. But it's like this. Everyone who is a parent has already gone through many if not all the exact same things that all of you younger folks are experiencing right now. It's like a rookie quarterback going to his first Super Bowl and exclaiming that he knows more about winning this game than the veteran who has been there three times before.

 

As for being a parent I have to raise my hand three times. My youngest is 20 and oldest is 26. Plus I have four grandchildren. I think that qualifies me :)

 

 

 

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Hell to the no. They aren't getting internet for a damn month. I prefer psychological discipline rather than physical ( I can't be there to spank them every moment of the day, but I sure as hell can stop them from doing what they love). From what I've seen it works better, I think I'm living proof of that.

 

That doesn't necessarily work for everyone. You have to remember, the father is dealing with a child here (yes, she's still a child), not a responsible adult. Sure, spanking may not be the best way to deal with the situation, but younger ones need to have consequences blatantly obvious. Take away the internet - you don't think they're already thinking of another way to access the web via their phone, friends, etc? The intent of psychological discipline may be for the child to feel bad for what they did, but you have to keep in mind that in many situations (I would know first hand), a child will be too wrapped up in their own thoughts that no voice of reason will come through. The only thing on their mind will be "I can't believe my parents took my internet away! I hate them!"

 

And no, sometimes reasoning with a child does nothing but spread the fire even more. If they are dead set on what they believe in, in the heat of the moment, they will accept NOTHING you will say. Because at that point, they will believe that whatever they think is right, without a doubt.

 

Kids need direct physical consequences to fully understand the wrongs they have done. No, not spanking. But taking away the laptop away (permanently) in this case, I fully agree with. Shooting it on the other hand...I probably wouldn't have done - it makes the father look a little crazy and borderline violent; something you should not be exposing to your kids.

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I've avoided tackling this thread for a little bit, however... I've got some time to kill so why not.

 

Firstly I think a lot of sweeping generalizations have been made in this thread. Lets not forget that a hammer isn't the only tool on your toolbelt, different jobs require different tools. This is the same for children and punishment. I have friends whose siblings are completely different than they are (in behavior) while having a relatively similar upbringing within the home. Al Capone's brother for example, who ran away to fight in WWI only to return and become a policeman. Do I condone spanking in conjunction with other forms of reprimand? Absoloutely. Do I feel that spanking that leaves a mark shortly after said spanking is acceptable? Absolutely not.

 

Tjj, let me elaborate as to why others in this thread stress that experience is vital to tackling and understanding parenting issues.

 

If all you are going to do is whine and moan about kids, then why did you have one?

 

Just because a parent complains about their child doesn't mean they do not love them. This is one of your strongest misinterpretations. I guarantee any parent (past or present) can think of at least one (if not a plethora) of moments when they are angry at their child. But this by no means they do not love them, and certainly does not make them a bad parent.

 

You ideally should love the kids through the good times and the bad. You shouldn't be able to segregate them based on how they annoy you. Love them for all that they are and show it by not harming them. Find a punishment that fits the crime. An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth. So unless a child thinks its funny to just punch you in the face, don't harmfully touch them period.

 

I'm not sure if you read over this one, I'm fairly sure you just gave fair reign over parents to punch their kids if they hit them first. Have you ever been around a child? I'm not sure about you but the young ones like to hit and smack quite often as a way of interacting and exploring their world. By your reasoning I should knock my little cousin out one to three times every time I see him.

 

Also, I find it very narrow minded of people to think that you have to form sides based on your ideals. ie. Parents vs Non-parents. Isn't that why our country is so screwed up to begin with is because of partisanship?

 

No one is saying you have to chose a particular side due to not being a parent, we're simply stating that without experience you have no real idea what it's like to be there in those situations.

 

Spanking is by no means beating a child, I really think you should clarify between the two. It is a dangerous tool, but there are times when there is a job big enough for a dangerous tool. You just don’t use it for all your jobs.

 

Do yourself a favour and carefully read over all of your posts in this thread. I'm not sure if you're ignorant or the forum's best troll. 10/10

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